Love of Life (LOL) Coaching

Story Cubes Make for Dinnertime Fun

2012-02-24T11:50:00.000-05:00

There's always talk about making dinnertime "quality time" with family, and all families have their own ways of making that happen. Our family tried something new last night that was really fun.

We used Rory's Story Cubes to craft stories. Have you ever heard of them? It's a set of nine cubes that each have six pictures on them.

So, here's how it works.

We started with Tyler. He rolls his cube. It lands on a magic wand, so he starts the story, "Once upon a time, there was a magic wand..."

Then Alyssa rolls and adds to the story based on her picture of a castle tower, "which the princess, who lived in the tower, used to turn her eyes green..."

... and so on. It was so fun! The kids loved the chance to tell their part of the story in their own way, and I loved watching them be creative. We were all giggling and having a fun time! It was one of those great living in the moment moments!

How does your family make dinnertime special? Got any ideas to pass along?

The Scream of Terror

2012-02-21T17:46:00.003-05:00

Since yesterday was a holiday, today was the first day of our week, but it didn't start off too well.

At precisely 6:30 a.m. the scream of a terrified Alyssa came curdling down the stairs into the kitchen -- the result of her new alarm clock that apparently scared the heck out of her! (Oops!)

A picture from a happier day!

As I was hugging her and calming her down, she said, "Mommy I feel weird."

"What kind of weird," I replied.

"Like I'm going to throw up," she said.

Oh geez! I rushed her to the bathroom to be near the toilet, and she stood there hunched over it for a minute or so. "Great, the stomach bug," I thought. But she never really threw up -- only phlegm came out. I was thinking we were lucky that her stomach was empty from the night before.

I noticed she was hot and sweaty. Suddenly burning up. White as a ghost.

She said she wanted to sit down for a minute, so she did, on the bathroom floor, when suddenly her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell over. OMG!! "What the heck is going on?"

At first she didn't respond to me calling her name, but then she did look up at me. It only lasted a second, but it seemed like an eternity.

We laid her down on the sofa and took her temperature, which was only 100.3. At that point, we decided to just let her rest. She slept for an hour.

When she woke up, said she wanted to watch TV and soon began requesting food and drink. I was surprised she wanted to eat so soon after that whole bathroom episode, so just to be safe, I held her off until the 2 hour mark to make sure her stomach had time to calm down.

That was thankfully the end of the drama. She slowly perked up throughout the day -- although she only got off the couch to go to the bathroom. It seems as though other cold symptoms are coming on now, so we'll see how this recovery goes! Hopefully quickly!

At this point the whole day feels like a blur. It certainly started off with a bang -- terror for her with the sound of an alarm clock and terror for me as she passed out (or whatever that was). Sheesh. Can we have a do-over on this day???

But even as I say that, I know I shouldn't, because there were many blessings in this day:

It is only a minor illness.
It gave me some valuable, restful time alone with Alyssa.
Tyler could take the bus to school, so I didn't have to leave the house with a sick child.
A friend offered to bring Tyler home from school for me (he doesn't ride the bus in the afternoons).
I didn't have anywhere I "had" to be today, so I could easily stay home to take care of her and not worry about anything else.
It's not the stomach bug!!!
I had time to do several loads of laundry!
I had several hours to sit on the sofa and get some work done on my new laptop!
My calves were killing me from yesterday's workout, so I had a convenient excuse to skip today's workout!
The gray, cloudy skies were very uninviting -- a great reason to stay inside and light some candles!

I could go on and on, but you get the point! Anyway, feel better Alyssa!!! Mommy loves you!

52 Things Kids Need From a Mom

2012-02-15T16:38:00.001-05:00

I heard a great interview with author Angela Thomas this week about her book 52 Things Kids Need From a Mom. The purpose of the interview was to teach moms about being intentional in the lives of their kids.

The thing that struck me was how she illustrated the point that it is a mom's job to set the tone for the family on a daily basis.

For example, if one of our kids wakes up grumpy, we do not allow that to suck us in, get us frazzled and set a negative tone for the day. We must remain calm, cool and collected and point them in the direction of happiness. Yes, of course, we know this, but it is easier said than done.

In listening to this I realized that I often get sucked into the moods of my children, and I let it negatively affect me.

Angela reminds us that, as moms, we should be more spiritually and emotionally mature than our children.

She said the way she remembers this truth is by picturing herself standing on a step ladder above her children -- above their grumpiness.

This was a real revelation for me and gives me hope for some of the frustrations I feel in my parenting. I've already ordered this book and can't wait to learn more!

The 5 Love Languages Can Save Marriages!

2012-02-09T10:31:00.008-05:00

So, there is this couple having trouble in their marriage. The wife says, "I cook for him. I clean for him. I bring his shirts to the cleaners. I take care of the kids all by myself morning, noon and night. He doesn't ever help me. I just don't think he loves me."

The husband says, "All she ever does is criticize me. She is always complaining. I don't know what I need to do to make her happy."

What's going on here? Is this couple doomed? According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, this couple may simply have a language barrier.

Dr. Chapman explains that after many years of counseling, he noticed that everyone has a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own. (Of course!)

Based on his research, he discovered five primary love languages. They are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

So, for the couple listed above. The wife's language is acts of service, and the husband's is words of affirmation. Instead of using words of affirmation to build her husband up, the wife is tearing him down by complaining about all of the help he is not giving her. Because to her, when you love someone, you help them.

Her complaining is her cry for help, but her spouse does not see it that way. He sees it as criticism, because words of affirmation are important to him. So, instead of answering her pleas for help, he is running the other way -- away from the criticism.

But, once this couple learned what their love languages were and how to speak the other's love language, their marriage started to heal and improve. Today they report their marriage is better than ever! How awesome is that?

Here's a link to the book if you're interested! You can also take an online quiz to help you discover your love language.

I would also like to mention that these languages apply to children, friends and family too! Can you imagine how much better our relationships could be if we knew the love languages of everyone around us?

National Positive Talk Radio Host David Essel Helps People Turn Dreams into Reality with New Life Coach Certification Teleclass

2012-02-02T10:42:00.000-05:00

National Positive Talk Radio Host David Essel Helps People Turn Dreams into Reality with New Life Coach Certification Teleclass

Calling All Moms! This Spring, Clean up Your Mind, Body and Soul with Group Life Coaching

2012-01-27T09:06:00.001-05:00

Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Spring is just around the corner. That means it’s time to wake from our slumber, shake off those winter blues and refresh and revive ourselves.

If you are ready to do some spring cleaning with your mind, body and soul, join Certified Master Life Coach Tina Haisman as she leads a group of moms on an 8-week journey into a season of living a more healthy and balanced life.

What Will be Covered? In the safety of a supportive environment, moms will learn tools and techniques for handling the many ups and downs of mothering young children and keeping their family happy and healthy. They will pick one area of life to work on and make better – it can be health, finances, spirituality, relationships or career. Moms will learn how to achieve their goals and become the mother and woman they want to be.

What are the Top 3 Benefits of a Group Coaching Program?
• You surround yourself with other women facing similar challenges.
• You learn new techniques for goal-setting, action planning, stress management and more.
• You gain motivation from the coach AND the group!

When is it? This program consists of 8 one-hour sessions – one per week, starting at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 22

What is the Cost? Program cost is $20 to YMCA members, $40 for non-members. (Materials cost is $14 that will be paid to the instructor at the first class.)

How do I register? Call the Y at 847.296.3376

Where will it be held? Lattof YMCA Meeting Rooms

What do I Need to Bring? Physically, you will need a writing journal and a pen. Mentally, you will need an open mind. Emotionally, you will need the desire to make your life even better than it already is!

What do You Need to Hear to Believe an Apology is Sincere?

2012-01-25T18:50:00.002-05:00

In November I wrote about my discovery of the book The Five Languages of Apology. Today I want to share a recent experience that illustrates how the languages work and how they can help you achieve more healing in the relationships in your life.

We had a play date at our house with a couple of Tyler and Alyssa's friends. One child came to me to tell me that another child said something that really hurt his feelings. The offender responded with, "I said I was sorry."

Image: Arvind Balaraman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So, with my knowledge of the five languages of apology, I asked the offended child, "Your friend said he was sorry, but it seems like that is not enough to make you feel better. What do you need to hear?"

The offended child replied, "That he will never do it again."

Oh my gosh! Out of the mouths of babes comes this profound, but basic language! This language is straight out of the book -- and it was spoken by a nine-year-old who has never read the book. That's how spot on this concept is! I didn't need it, but I've got to say, this whole experience was further proof to me that this five languages of apology stuff really works!

What the offended child communicated was that he needed to hear the offending party genuinely repent for the offense. That is language number four according to the book. Genuinely repenting means saying, "I'll try not to do that again."

I asked the offender if he could make that promise, which he easily did ... and off they went!

I can't say enough about this concept. How many times has someone apologized to you, but the apology didn't make you feel better? If that was the case, it could be a simple language barrier. If we could all be more aware of these five languages of apology, we could be experiencing much more healing and joy in our lives on a daily basis!

Teaching Children About Setting Healthy Boundaries

2012-01-20T13:42:00.002-05:00

It appears this is the week of teaching my children about setting healthy boundaries. So interesting.

As Tyler was packing his snack for school one morning he said, "I didn't have enough snack yesterday, I was still hungry afterward." To which I replied, "Tyler, I saw you pack your snack -- you put quite a bit in there. What happened?"

He said, "Everyone keeps asking if they can have some of my snack." Ahhhhh. My sweet, sharing son is giving away so much of his snack to his friends that he is left hungry. So, I said, "Well, Tyler what can we do about this?"

He suggested packing more food, to which I replied, "It is awesome that you are sharing, but when you share too much, there is not enough left for you, so we need to set some healthy boundaries here. What do you think of suggesting a trade when a friend asks for some of your snack?"

He thought that could work, but said sometimes they don't seem to have anything to trade, so he packed a little extra anyway. :)

After school that day, I asked how it went, and he said, "fine," and that he worked out trades instead of just giving it all away. Cool! Hopefully that one is solved! Although, I have no idea what he ate for a snack, now!

Then, there's Alyssa. She complained to me that sometimes when she has friends over, they don't respect her wishes not to play with certain toys that are very special to her. Specifically, she was speaking about a care bear she got from her great-grandma for Christmas. If you pull the bear's arm, it says, "I love you." She uses the bear at night to sleep with and desperately wants to save the batteries for when she is really scared and needs to hear, "I love you" from the bear. She won't even let me or Paul pull the bear's arm.

She said her friends still pull the arm -- even when she asks them not to. So, I asked her what we could do about that. She didn't really know what options could be, so I suggested a couple -- either for her to come to me when this problem arises in the future and that I would help her try to communicate her wishes, or for us to put the bear for a nap in another room where he could have some privacy.

Ideally, of course, Alyssa would handle this on her own by explaining just how special this bear is, and her friends would respect and honor that. But, she's only six and still learning to communicate, so I think I'm OK with intervening in a positive, teaching manner if the situation arises again. I'm not crazy about the idea of "hiding" the bear, because it takes away the opportunity for Alyssa to practice her boundary setting. Plus, I don't think we should have to hide items from our friends. This option may solve the problem temporarily, but not long-term.

So, this morning at breakfast we had a little talk about healthy boundaries. They both looked at me like I was crazy. Healthy boundaries? Those words are not exactly in the vocabulary of kindergarten or third graders. Heck, most adults have trouble setting healthy boundaries!

In Tyler's case, I thought it was important to teach him that sharing his snack is a nice thing to do, but if he shares too much, he is left with not enough. I certainly don't want to tell him not to share -- that doesn't send the right message! So, I tried to teach him to look for other alternatives to solving the problem.

In Alyssa's case, she really needs to learn how to stand up for herself. I can see it, and I know where she gets it from. It is something I have been working on for quite a while now!

So, although these challenging parenting situations were presented to me this week, I am grateful for the opportunity they provided for me to talk to Tyler and Alyssa about important issues that will serve them well for the rest of their lives!

The New Thank You Card Tradition?

2012-01-16T13:32:00.002-05:00

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This has happened to us twice now. The first time, I just thought, "curious." But the second time, it lit a fire inside me, so I thought I'd blog about it and see what other people think.

Twice now, we have attended a kids birthday party and left the party with a pre-written thank you note in hand. The note says something like, "thank you for coming to my birthday party." It has, obviously, no mention of a gift, because it was written before the party -- before they knew what gift they received. Before they could even tell us why they enjoyed the gift or how much they enjoyed the gift.

I just have to say I hope this is not a new tradition. I think there is a huge amount of value in teaching children it is important to sincerely say "thank you" when you receive a gift.

The reason we have a birthday party is to celebrate another year of life, which is truly something to be grateful for. We give gifts to each other to show our love for each other. I think those gifts deserve thank you's.

I know times are changing and people are busier than ever before, but I think we still need to be teaching our children the value and importance of properly thanking people for their generosity. What do you think? Please post your comments below.

The Experiences Kids Give Us Make Life So Rich

2012-01-12T10:42:00.005-05:00

Zach, the praying mantis!

Over the Christmas break, we drove to Nashville to visit family. Before the trip the discussions began about what to do about our pet Zach -- Tyler's praying mantis. He found him at school a few months ago and has been taking care of him ever since.

We considered leaving Zach with a friend, but Tyler was having a hard time with this. He was also worried about how Zach would do on a nine-hour drive in the cold.

Mostly, it turned out, Tyler did not want to leave Zach behind. So, the day before the trip, he called his Aunt Laura to ask if it would be OK to bring Zach with us to her house. Luckily for Tyler, she said yes.

So, off went the Haisman family with a praying mantis in tow on a nine-hour drive to Nashville. I found myself enjoying the oddity of the experience a couple of times during the trip as we snuck him into a restaurant and our hotel.

The craziest part was the morning we were leaving our hotel to finish our trip to Nashville. Tyler noticed Zach (or shall we say Zacherella) was laying an egg sack. That was quite a surprise, considering we thought she was a he. All four of us were jubilant over it, though! How exciting and unexpected! And the timing -- while on a road trip -- incredible!

We hated to disrupt this maternal moment, but we also wanted to get on the road. So, we very gently put the praying mantis cage in a re-usable shopping bag and carried it carefully down the elevator and past the front desk in the lobby -- hoping not to disrupt the egg-laying process. I was the lucky one who got to carry the cage.

As we were leaving the hotel, Tyler sent Aunt Laura a text message to see if there would be room for about 400 more praying mantises. I was trying to be so delicate with Zacherella, when Laura responded back with a message that had me laughing so hard it freaked Tyler out. She made a hilarious reference to the baby cow we saw being born at a farm during last year's Nashville trip. (I guess our family has a knack for finding themselves in these amazing moments only Mother Nature could provide!)

While it was funny to me, Tyler about died as he saw me laughing so hard while holding the poor praying mantis who was trying to lay her eggs. He kept trying to take the cage away from me, but I wouldn't let him for fear it would end up in the cage lying on the ground!

Anyway, it all worked out. Zacherella is fine. The egg sack is in the garage in the cold to preserve it for spring. We have no idea what to expect with that -- if anything at all.

But, I just had to laugh as I thought about how rich this experience was for our entire family. Kids add so much fun and spice to life. Before having children, I never would have imagined sneaking a praying mantis into a restaurant or hotel -- or even having one for a pet for that matter. Fun times! I just love my kids!

My take on Tim Tebow

2011-12-13T10:36:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to share my thoughts on this whole Tim Tebow discussion.

First, let me say that I am no football expert -- just a fan.

Those of us familiar with Tim Tebow from UF already know and love him. We have already witnessed his passion, perseverance, integrity, leadership skills and strong faith. We were truly amazed by him when he was in college, but now he is playing on another level -- one the critics said he would never play on.

Since the Broncos win over the Bears on Sunday, I have heard people saying "God doesn't care about the results of a football game." Hmmmmmmm.....

That thought makes me raise my eye-brows. I think God does care. Because Tim Tebow miraculously rallying his team to victory in the final minutes of the last several games has grabbed our attention. It's grabbed the whole nation's attention.

I think God is using Tim Tebow and football to deliver a message to us. It is simple, but strong -- Believe.

Believe in what? You interpret that into your own life. Believe in God. Believe in yourself. Believe in miracles.

Tim Tebow did not listen to the critics who said he would never make it in the NFL. His heart told him to push on, and he has. He believes in himself and he believes in God.

He is spreading that belief outward now. Starting with his teammates. Did you hear how he approached Denver linebacker Wesley Woodyard in the locker room and told him not to worry because God spoke to him? Well, Woodyard is the player who amazingly stripped the ball from Marion Barber just before he was about to put the Bears in scoring position. In a recent news article, Woodyard said it best himself, "God speaks to people to reach other people."

I believe God is speaking to us always. But we can't always hear Him with the busyness of our lives. He has cleverly found a way to grab our attention. He has come to us through one of our favorite activities -- watching football -- and He has a message. Are you getting the message?

2011-12-05T10:05:00.001-05:00

Do you ever have such a productive day or evening that you end up feeling energized at the end of it instead of exhausted?

I had one of those nights last night. We spent the day with family, so I felt fulfilled in that sense. But when my "me time" arrived, around 8 p.m., I felt no energy.

Image: 89studio / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was so disappointed, because I was really looking forward to being productive. I almost gave up and sat down to veg out on the sofa, but instead I drank a glass of water and decided to just do ONE thing.

After I did that, I felt energy, so I kept on going. They were all little, mindless things -- I had to mend a couple of items, reprint a Christmas card label that was wrong, put away some clothes, go through my email, get organized with the school papers for today, etc...I was shocked at how much I got done after I started my evening thinking I had no energy.

While I was mending, I listened to a Focus on the Family episode, which gave me the feeling of accomplishing two things at once! It happened to be a humorous topic, so that made it more enjoyable!

What surprised me most was how great I felt when I got into bed. Instead of feeling exhausted, I felt fulfilled. I had crossed several things off my to-do list and even nourished my soul with the Focus on the Family episode. Awesome!

That was a great lesson to remind me to:
1. Drink more water! and
2. Just try to do ONE thing when I think I can't do anything!

How do you make it through when you feel no energy?

It's the simple things in life

2011-12-01T09:25:00.002-05:00

This morning, Alyssa surprised us by coming downstairs from her room all dressed and ready to go to school. Oh. My. Gosh! What a surprise! What joy! Wow!

She was joyful, too!

I asked her how this happened. She said she heard Tyler getting ready, so she decided to get up and sneak him into her bedroom so he could help her get dressed.

Oh my gosh! I'm grinning from ear-to-ear. What a great start to my day.

Our usual mornings consist of me waking her up at 6:30. Bringing her downstairs. Serving her breakfast. Reminding her to take a bite every minute or so. Accompanying her back upstairs to get dressed and brush her teeth and hair. And constantly reminding her to stay on track. It's very annoying and labor intensive for me.

So, this morning, I celebrate! Yeahhhhhh! (And overlook the fact that she forgot to make her bed.) LOL!

Where have I been?

2011-11-29T16:37:00.003-05:00

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Where have I been for the past couple of weeks? Why haven't I posted any new blogs? Well, three weeks ago, I took on a project that apparently created a whole lot of stress in my life.

What's funny is that this project wasn't big. In fact, it was quite small. I thought I would just fit it in, and everything would be fine. I was excited to do a good job with it. I think the project itself went fine, but I've had a rough couple of weeks and have found myself not feeling as happy and excited about life as usual.

This morning while I was journaling about it, I realized I have been in a great, big learning experience.

Here's what I discovered by taking just a few minutes to sit down and reflect:

This was a test from the Divine Broadcast System. I think this was a test to see if I am really wanting to go forward with how God wants me to use my gifts, or if I will fall into old, "comfortable" habits. I feel like by accepting the project, I failed the test, but I understand I had to receive this experience to know better. The project seemed to be a good fit, but it wasn't, and I knew that deep down from the start. I should have said, "No, thank you."

Mental stress causes physical stress. It has been scientifically proven that mental stress causes physical dis-ease. The day after I accepted the project, I hurt my neck and had to go to the chiropractor. She sent me for x-rays and found I have an injury in my cervical spine, most likely from a car accident 20 years ago, that never healed properly. Although my recovery will be an uphill trek, I am grateful this problem was caught now, instead of later. Can you say blessing in disguise?

Stress is draining. Over the past three weeks, I have felt exhausted, stressed, tired, overwhelmed, forgetful, and less than present in my moments. I have found it more difficult to connect with the important people in my life. It's not that I didn't experience any joy during this time, it was just more difficult to manifest with the stress of a new project, the energy my body needed to begin to heal my neck, and the multitude of other obligations I had going on at the time.

Taking on projects outside my passion keeps me from doing what I love best. Over the past few weeks, I have not had the time or energy to devote to writing my blog or updating my Facebook status to motivate my life coaching clients. These are activities I look forward to and that feed my soul.

I believe in making the most out of every day -- and every experience. Now that I am through it, I see this experience for what it was worth and I am grateful and ready to move on!

Do you know how to apologize?

2011-11-18T17:39:00.001-05:00

I am so excited! I heard a FANTASTIC radio segment on Focus on the Family this week. It was about the book, The Five Languages of Apology, by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas.

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Before this week, I thought forgiveness was simply about saying "I'm sorry," and being forgiven, but it turns out there are five different ways to say "I'm sorry." The amazing thing about this is that if someone offers you an apology that omits your apology language, you won't fully accept it or even recognize it as an apology.

The five languages of apology are:
1. Expressing regret -- saying, "I'm sorry for the hurt I caused."
2. Accepting responsibility -- saying, "I was wrong."
3. Making restitution -- asking, "What can I do to make things right?"
4. Genuinely repenting -- saying, "I will try not to do it again."
5. Requesting forgiveness -- asking, "Will you please forgive me?"

Some people just need to hear you are sorry, while others need you to ask for forgiveness. If you've really done something wrong, you might need to use all five languages in your apology.

Apologizing is one of the most important tools for building and maintaining relationships in life. I think this is one of those books everyone should read. Can you imagine a world where every human being knows how to properly apologize for hurting others?

If you're interested, check out the online quiz to find out your apology language. The quiz itself is very interesting.

You can also learn more by reading the book, The Five Languages of Apology. I ordered my copy today, and I can't wait to delve into it more!

I should be on the cover of a magazine

2011-11-09T09:07:00.002-05:00

I realized this morning I should be on the cover of a magazine -- the cover story for why moms need to take care of themselves.

Image: sixninepixels / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have been ignoring some issues in my back and neck for a couple of months now -- knowing I needed to get to a chiropractor to be seen. But I put it off for all of the same reasons moms put off taking care of themselves. Unfortunately, I put it off long enough to let it literally snap me into crisis mode yesterday.

I made one quick move at 5:30 in the morning -- that my body was not awake enough to compensate for -- and wham. Instant pain. Pain that causes eyes to well up with tears and stomachs to turn over. Pain that causes a mom to think, "How am I going to take care of my kids today?"

As a result of putting off something that should have been looked into ages ago, I spent the better part of the day at the chiropractor's office and getting x-rays. Not to mention in pain. I feel like a lost an entire day. If only I would have taken care of this sooner.

So, as I sit here writing this with an ice pack on my neck, I'm still thinking on the positive side. Although painful, this experience has been a great learning lesson for me. I need to take care of myself. No matter what else is going on. When I know something is amiss, I will do myself and my family a great deal of good to have it taken care of right away. I hope you will do the same!

My musings about the use of animals for entertainment in the circus

2011-11-05T10:59:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I went on a field trip to the circus with Alyssa's class. I was not very excited about going, honestly.

Somewhere along the line of my life I have lost my fondness for the circus, so yesterday I decided to pay attention to why that might be. I don't mean to bash the circus, only to share my thoughts.

First of all, I just don't get the point of a circus. Obviously entertainment, but it's not that entertaining for me. What I really discovered is that I don't like the animal "performances."

The tigers looked fat and unfit. And they appeared terrified of the trainer. They kept hissing at him too. It was very weird and uncomfortable. I felt bad for them.

Then they brought out two different types of horses and several zebras. They were beautiful. I can sort of see why horses...they're pretty domesticated...but zebras? I think they belong in the wild.

Then the elephants. I am amazed by elephants, but it pained me to watch them be paraded around and forced to perform tricks like standing on their heads. I especially cringed when they made them lay down...that appears to take a lot of effort for an elephant.

So why do I feel this way? Am I being too analytical? Am I having trouble shutting off my adult mind? Do I need to try to look at the circus through the eyes of a child? I don't exactly know.

I do know this. I have a huge appreciation for nature and God's creatures. I love marveling at them in the wild -- their natural setting. That's amazing enough for me. I'm just not sure we should be forcing them to do tricks for our entertainment.

Airing my dirty laundry publicly

2011-11-03T09:56:00.002-04:00

As many moms do, I struggle with how to get everything done, but I've had a recent epiphany that is making my life easier and more enjoyable, so I wanted to share.

For the record, I realize it's highly possible I'm the last one to jump on board this train, but just in case I'm not, I wanted to share with you.

I'm 3 weeks into doing a load of laundry every day instead of waiting until Sunday to do it all, and I'm liking it! It's working!

Why on earth was I waiting until Sunday to do all of the laundry? Well, for starters, I didn't like doing laundry, so I didn't want to do it any more often than necessary. Plus, I am a "check it off the list" kind of a girl, and I thought if I did all of the laundry on one day, then I could check it off my list, and it was done for the week.

But that left drudgery to look forward to every Sunday -- not only was the weekend ending, but now I had 7 large loads of laundry to wash, dry, fold and put away in one night. Sometimes it rolled over into Monday morning, which I really hated.

So, why the switch? Well, I have some friends who do laundry this way, and I recently read about it as a tip in Darla Shine's Happy Housewives book.

What I have discovered is that by doing one load each day I can still satisfy my need to check something off the list. One load of laundry each day. Check. Done! As an added bonus, each load is smaller since I'm doing it more frequently. Yippee!

The only negative thing I have noticed is that it's more difficult to complete on the days I am not working from home. But when that has happened, I just did two loads the next day. No big deal.

I'm so excited about this change and how it's making my life easier. Even though I have added one more item to my daily to-do list, I actually feel more productive because of it!

So, there you have it. Now the whole world knows about my dirty laundry!

Do moms feel like they lose themselves by design?

2011-10-29T20:35:00.003-04:00

A few days ago I wrote about an amazing moms retreat I attended. Today I want to expand on one of the topics we discussed, because I think it's important for all moms to think about.

Me and my kiddos on a lunch date!

The discussion was about how we as moms lose ourselves after having children. You don't really realize it is happening, it just seems to be a slow death of the woman you once were before having children. Then you wake up one day and look in the mirror and have no idea who you are looking at.

In some respects, that is good, because once you have children, you will never be the same woman.

But it's painful to feel like we lose touch with our true selves. That we forget what we like to do in our "free" time. Or as we moms like to call it, our "me" time.

As moms we crave this "me" time, but when we suddenly get it, we don't even know what to do with it. Plus, we feel guilty about taking it.

In the earlier days of having small children, I can remember wasting at least half of my "me" time just trying to figure out what to do. That was so frustrating.

When we talk about this as moms, it is as if we have done something wrong. That we have let ourselves go by not paying attention. While on some level this may be true, I would like to think about it more positively.

Maybe this "low" of motherhood is really a high. Maybe it's part of "growing up" -- a natural progression of life. Maybe through losing ourselves we are actually finding ourselves. Maybe this loss is something we all have to go through so we can become more aware of who we really are ... and what our gifts are ... and why we are here.

It can be all of that if we want it to be. I think the important point in this conversation is that once you wake up and realize you have lost yourself, it's time to start taking action to reconnect with yourself. That woman is still there, you just need to spend some time rediscovering her.

I believe the experience of motherhood is shaping me into the woman I want to be. I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I trust in the process and know that everything will turn out as it should. I hope the same for you!

Are you your spouse's friend?

2011-10-27T18:27:00.002-04:00

Image: Photostock/Freedigitalphotos.net

I overheard a conversation at the park between a man and a woman this week that got me thinking.

They were acquaintances -- from what I could tell -- and they were being so nice to each other. Like trying really hard to be helpful and provide information about kids and parenting and the like. They were seriously trying to be nice -- on their best behavior -- like when you are making a new friend.

Their interaction made me think about marriage and what happens over time. How people stop trying so hard to be nice and helpful and thoughtful. How sometimes couples stop being "friends" and turn into roommates.

I thought about how amazing that conversation would have been if that couple was married. If they always spoke to each other like that. And if they always went out of their way to be nice to each other -- like they do when they are making a new friend.

I think a whole lot of marriages could be better off if people treated their spouses as good as they treat people they are meeting for the first time. This is definitely something Paul and I have worked on in our marriage, and I can tell you it makes a big difference!

How's that for food for thought? I think it's a good chance to look at how we are behaving in our marriages. I'd love to hear feedback on this topic!

Retreat teaches moms how to take better care of themselves

2011-10-26T12:13:00.002-04:00

I went to a mom's retreat yesterday that really got me energized!

It was an intimate retreat with only 10 moms, plus the three speakers. The women ranged in age from mid-twenties to early 50's. (Yes, moms in their mid-twenties! Yikes!) This group of moms was awesome, impressive and inspiring. I can't say enough about them.

The group was very diverse in age, occupation and backgrounds, but we had much in common as moms. It was encouraging to hear other women's stories of how they approach motherhood and the experiences they have been through. We laughed about the funny stuff and supported each other through the tough stuff.

I think part of why I feel so great about the retreat is that the organizers did an excellent job of helping us get to know each other before the sessions started. That set the atmosphere in the room, because we were already pretty-well acquainted with one another by the time we got to the sessions.

We heard from three speakers: Lori Radun, a life coach from Momnificent; Beth Aldrich, a healthy lifestyle and nutrition expert and author of Real Moms Love to Eat; and Saren Eyre Loosli, a trainer and founder of Power of Moms.

Saren shared with us about her great website and all of the helpful resources it has to offer. I would say whenever you find yourself struggling with something in motherhood, head on over to this site for some practical tips and advice! Good stuff!

Lori spoke to us about boundaries -- a topic I was excited to hear about, because it's something I have been working on over the past few years. Boundaries can be tricky, because they are different for everyone, but if we don't learn to set boundaries for ourselves, we will very quickly find ourselves frazzled, frustrated and resentful.

Finally, Beth taught us about feeding our body and soul with a lifestyle and foods that are good for us. It was a very easy-to-grasp, holistic approach to taking care of ourselves. Loved it! Then, she served us a delicious, healthy, satisfying lunch! (Wonder if there are any left-overs! Beth, I'm coming over!)

Being a mom is the most difficult thing many of us women will do. It's such a big job, and there are no text books. It's so nice to know that we're not alone. We're not the only ones struggling. And that there are people out there who care and are willing to help. I left this special retreat feeling even more motivated to continue my work as a life coach in inspiring other women!

The Haismans had a case of the Mondays

2011-10-24T14:21:00.003-04:00

How did your Monday morning start off? I have to be honest, we usually start really smooth around here, but today wasn't quite that story.

I thought I started smoothly -- got up before the kids to get ready, and had already prepared their snacks and water the night before! Yeah, me!

But, Tyler was all upset about his hair not looking right. Then he put on the wrong school uniform for today and had to completely change. All of this caused him to be too late to ride the bus to school, which caused him to be quite whiny.

Alyssa sat at the kitchen table for nearly 20 minutes doing absolutely nothing except complaining that what she wanted for breakfast was not available. This caused her to have to rush for the rest of the morning. Then, as we were pulling out of the driveway I looked up into her bedroom and noticed her bedroom light was on. (That's a major offense in our house!)

Also, we couldn't find one of the library books that is due today. I looked for it Saturday, yesterday and this morning with no luck. Why is it always the library books that go missing?

Anyway, I talked to the kids on the way to school about them having to do better in the morning. We get up plenty early to get ready without rushing, but there is no time for wasting.

I very purposefully create a loving, peaceful atmosphere in the mornings. I want my children to start their day calm, not in a state of panic and frantic rushing around to get out the door. This morning I even had a candle lit before the crabbiness ensued.

I do feel somewhat responsible for the rough morning though, because we had a pretty busy weekend. I think when the kids don't get enough down-time, it's more difficult for them to pull everything together on Monday morning. Last night we got home with just enough time for them to brush teeth, get in their jammies, say prayers and get in bed. They had no time to relax. I think that would have been helpful.

So, now the kids are at school, and I am getting a few things done. I put dinner in the crock pot so I can assist with homework and keep things low key this afternoon. Oh, and I found the book, by the way, it was in Alyssa's closet inside a purse! :)

Here's to a more peaceful Monday afternoon!

How do you know it's time for a mommy break?

2011-10-23T10:23:00.003-04:00

How do you know it's time for you to take a break from your children? I know I've waited too long when I start cringing or feel like I want to cry every time one of my children calls my name. I feel like saying, "What? What could you possibly need from me right now? Please just leave me alone!"

I got to that place yesterday. There are many reasons why, but I think the last straw was that school was cancelled at the last minute on Friday due to water problems in the building -- so I suddenly lost six hours of planned "me" time.

Part of me was excited for the kids -- they were downright gleeful! It was fun to see, and I remember feeling that way as a child when school got cancelled!

At the time, I didn't think it was a big deal. I was OK with it. Even though I had errands and a nice lunch with a friend planned, it could all be rescheduled. But, what I didn't realize was how much it would impact me later.

Overall the day was awesome while I was living it. We met up with a couple other school families and went to a pumpkin farm. Then we had friends over for a play date and dinner afterward. Fun times! It was a super-fun, kid-friendly day! But, looking back on it, I can see why I felt overwhelmed the next day -- it was just all kids, all day. Like 10 kids talking to you at once. Even if it's fun, it can still be exhausting.

So, when I found myself cringing every time one of my children called my name Saturday afternoon, that was my cue that I was overdue for some mommy time. So, I left home to run a few of the errands I was supposed to do on Friday. I felt great by the time I got back, but that quickly went away as soon as the demands started up again at home. I was disappointed by that. But I realized that I needed something more or different.

So, instead of fighting it, I went up to my bedroom, closed the door and rested for a while. I didn't sleep, which would have been very nice, but I rested peacefully without children asking me about or for something every five seconds.

Luckily, Paul understood and picked up the "slack" and even made the kids dinner. Another blessing was that we had a date night planned, so I knew I had that to look forward to, as well.

I'm still not 100%, but I am aware that I need to continue to work on it for the rest of the weekend -- or until I'm back to feeling like I can give again!

Teaching children how to be a supportive friend

2011-10-18T10:40:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Alyssa told me about an event that happened at school last week that prompted a little lesson about how to be a good friend. Here's how our conversation went.

A friend pulled a piece of fruit out of her lunch and said, "Look what I got, Alyssa!"

Apparently, since Alyssa does not like that particular fruit, she replied, "Oh, I don't like that fruit."

Well, her friend did not like that remark and told the teacher on her. At this point I was perplexed. Why would someone tell on you because you stated your opinion that you do not like a particular fruit? But I knew there must be more to the story, so I pushed on.

I asked Alyssa, "Why do you think your friend told on you for that?" She said she didn't know. Then, my brain started firing -- the friend's feelings were hurt. I see what happened!

I said, "Why do you think she showed you that piece of fruit?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"Because she was excited about it," I said. "She wanted you to feel excited for her."

I continued, "Remember how you were excited to show your friends your face painting from Fall Fest?"

"Yes," she said.

"Well, your friend was excited about what was in her lunch in the same way. Do you think next time you could say something like, 'Cool! I'm happy for you.' When she shows you something she is excited about?"

"Oh. Yeah. I can do that." Sweet!

Then, wouldn't you know it? Moments later I looked at Tyler's religion homework, and it touched on the same topic! OMG! How lucky am I?

I read her the words right off the paper -- "When something exciting happens to people, many of them want to share their good news with others."

So, when people share their good news with us, it's polite and loving to respond by letting them know we are happy for them -- even if what they are excited about is not a preference of ours.

I then proceeded to practice with her for the rest of the evening in funny, lighthearted ways to help get the point across.

I know Alyssa did not intend on hurting her friend's feelings by saying she did not like the fruit, but the delicate point is that there was something better she could have said.

She doesn't have to pretend she likes the fruit, but she could have been supportive and showed her friend that she was glad she had something in her lunch that made her excited. Hopefully we've learned a lesson that will stick!

My glowing little pumpkin

2011-10-17T21:27:00.002-04:00

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and this one of my little pumpkin is, indeed!

I find myself repeatedly coming back to admire this shot, so I thought I should try to pinpoint what I love about it so much. Here's what I came up with:

I love ...

How beautiful Alyssa looks.
How happy she looks.
How clear the sky is.
The orange pumpkins dotted all over the ground.
How the setting sun makes the picture glow orange.
How the color of her skirt matches the pumpkins.
The fact that we are in a real pumpkin patch ... on a beautiful farm.
That Tyler is in the picture, even though he is walking the other way.
That the picture makes me feel peaceful.
Knowing how much fun she had that day!

Bring more peace into your life through stressful situations

2011-10-13T10:13:00.004-04:00

Did you know the best way to diffuse someone who is agitated, angry or yelling at you is to respond with calmness and love?

It seems counter-intuitive, but the truth is that you get what you give. Give grief, get grief. Give peace, get peace.

So, if you can control your emotions when you are being verbally attacked and remain calm, you will bring peace into the situation, instead of more stress.

This technique diffuses the situation much more quickly than responding with another verbal attack.

If the issue is something that needs to be addressed, you can choose to do it later, at a time when everyone is more peaceful. Simply state your intention to walk away from the stressful situation until things calm down.

This works for adults and children. Try it and let me know how it goes!

Fall is a Great Time to Slow Down

2011-10-06T09:46:00.000-04:00

These two trees are across the street from Tyler and Alyssa's school. Even though I see them multiple times a day, they still make me smile every time.

They are the first trees we notice that turn red every year. They look so grand perched among all of the other trees that are still green.

Every time I see these trees I am naturally reminded to slow down, take a deep breath and enjoy the sight.

Fall is a great time to try to live in the moment and enjoy every day. Be sure to spend some time out in nature -- away from the hustle and bustle of your busyness -- and just be. It will help you connect more fully with yourself and your higher power. It will help you feel renewed and refreshed, and it will help you refocus and remember what's really important in life.

Happy Fall!

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

2011-10-04T18:41:00.003-04:00

Remember that poem "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum? Boy, has that been on my mind lately.

Almost every day since school started, Alyssa has been coming home with stories about how friends were not nice to her. Through these stories, she has also confessed to me times when she was less than nice in return.

The types of things we are talking about are things like excluding friends from the group, not cooperating while figuring out what they want to play, saying hurtful things like "you're not my friend" or "I wish you didn't go to this school." (Ouch!)

Initially, I was so surprised that we were having these types of friendship experiences in kindergarten, but it turns out I'm not alone. Some even say it's normal. (Yuck!)

Lately, I've spoken with many moms who have had children in kindergarten, and they all say they've experienced the same thing. REALLY? Oh my gosh! I thought kids wouldn't learn how to hurt someone's feelings until later -- much later.

I have found it difficult to teach Alyssa how to be a good friend. The dynamics seem to be so complex and mature for this age. But, believe me, I have been working on it. We've read age-appropriate books, we've had many mother-daughter conversations, we've prayed, we've asked for divine guidance, and, of course, I've done my research by reading parenting articles, talking to the teachers and speaking to other moms.

Things seem to be normalizing, but I intend to keep these conversations and lessons going. Now, instead of looking at the situation with frustration, I am looking at it as an opportunity to teach Alyssa how to be a good friend at a young age. I know these lessons will help her for years to come.

I think a couple of the most helpful things I've done have been communicating with other moms, praying with Alyssa, and bringing the language back down to her level. That's what made me think of the kindergarten poem. I think I was initially trying to help her with a complex adult mind, instead of going back to basics -- back to kindergarten -- back to the simple mind of a child.

A few of my kindergarten tips:

Be nice.
Cooperate.
Share.
Don't hit.
Don't push.
Say you're sorry.
Forgive.

My favorite line of the poem is this: When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

I saw Alyssa holding hands with one of her friends today, and it warmed my heart. I know the learning curve has been challenging, but I see them all sticking together.

An Award Brings College Memories Flooding Back

2011-10-02T15:47:00.003-04:00

I accepted one of the greatest honors of my professional career last night. I was inducted into the Vidette Hall of Fame with three other outstanding professionals.

I worked at the Daily Vidette, the ISU student newspaper, from the first day of my freshman year until the last day of my senior year.

HOF Inductees Marc Lebovitz, Tina Haisman and Bill Mulvihill
pause for photos with Vidette General Manager Rick Jones.

To say my memories of that time are sentimental would be an understatement.

Listening to the other professionals last night was so interesting. I realized that although none of us worked for the paper at the same time or in the same role, our overall experiences were remarkably similar.

We all spoke of how well the Vidette prepared us for our professional careers -- even though we didn't really realize it at the time.

We also spoke about how the Vidette was the primary source of our ISU family and friends. I didn't join a sorority in college -- I didn't need to. The Vidette filled that role for me.

The Daily Vidette has long been one of the most successful student newspapers in the country. I am so grateful to have been afforded the opportunity to be a part of it during my time at ISU.

I will always cherish my Vidette memories and experiences, and being honored as one of its best only makes it sweeter. I am so blessed.

Written with honor and gratitude for all Videtters of the past, present and future.

Motivational Mom's Life Coaching Seminar

2011-09-28T13:36:00.001-04:00

Ouch! I'm Wearing my Heart on the Outside of my Body

2011-09-28T11:44:00.002-04:00

Yesterday when I picked Alyssa up from school, she came out of the building crying and very upset.

She couldn't even tell me what happened. I had to ask one of her friends. Apparently, a little boy told the teacher that Alyssa and another girl (his twin sister) hit and pushed him.

Alyssa said it was an accident. I'm not sure what she means by that. She's not normally the hitting type. Neither of my kids are. I wish I could have been there to observe the dynamics of the situation, because I don't know how to counsel her on what went wrong.

I asked if she hit him because she was angry with him, but she said, "No, it was just an accident." What does that mean? I'm confused. It's hard for me to imagine her just up and hitting or pushing someone. But, if she did, then she needs to know the consequences. I certainly don't want her hitting or pushing other children!

Anyway, the teacher had her apologize to the boy and said she would have to sit out on playtime the next day (today). Alyssa was confused by that. She thought if she said she was sorry that that would be enough. I had to explain to her that saying she was sorry was good, but that she made a bad choice in "accidentally" hitting someone, and that the time-out is the punishment for the bad choice.

So, since the event was at the end of the school day, Alyssa's punishment went overnight. (I think that was punishment enough!) The whole evening was excruciating for both of us. I felt like somebody ripped my heart out. She came to me in tears many times. She was worried her teacher was mad at her. She was worried about how long the time-out would be. She was worried that another teacher might see that she had a time-out and get mad at her too.

I tried to console her. Tyler tried. Paul tried. I even had her call a girlfriend from school. That actually turned out to be a really sweet experience! The girl was very caring and reassured Alyssa that everything would be all right. She made her giggle. She even said she would give her a prize if she was good during the time-out! How cute is that?

This morning on the way to school, Alyssa was pretty somber. I tried to cheer her up by making up silly songs about being in time-out, but it only worked mildly. (Might have been my singing!) All I can hope is that she learns something from this, and that we'll never have to deal with a problem like this again, and that this event scared her enough to always be on her best behavior at school.

I think for the first time I truly felt the essence of that Elizabeth Stone quote, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Wow.

A letter to my 5-year-old about riding the school bus for the first time

2011-09-03T16:03:00.001-04:00

Here it comes!

Dear Alyssa,

Here we are at the beginning of your kindergarten year. That, in and of itself, is a big milestone, and we have both been so excited about it. You are growing up very fast, and I am so proud of you. This is going to be a great year!

Last week after much begging, I let Tyler ride the school bus for the first time. When I said, "yes" to his request, I knew you were going go want to ride it, too -- and that I'd probably have to say, "yes" to you, as well.

The facts are these my little angel: Tyler is eight. Tyler is a boy. You are five. You are a girl. Yes, you are a big girl, but you will always be my little girl. And you are my youngest child.

Getting on!

Some of the other kindergarten moms thought I was crazy to let you ride the bus. Others wondered why I wouldn't let you ride it.

Everyone -- friends and family -- cracked up when they heard I met the bus at school to see your bright, shining face as you got off of it. I laughed too! I guess it is kind of funny! But, why wouldn't I? I love to see you happy. And I love to see you so excited about getting to do big kid things!

When I finally gave in and said you could ride the bus, I was in the kitchen and you were standing at the top of the stairs looking over the railing at me with hopeful eyes. As I very quietly said, "yes," you started jumping up and down and screaming with glee. Then you ran right into your room to get your shoes and socks on. It made me feel soooo fulfilled to see you that excited! I think I will always remember that moment.

Speaking of moments, another doozie was that day in the car this week when you were talking to me about riding the bus, and I said, "I'm not ready for you to ride the bus." Then you so matter-of-factly replied, "But mom, I'm ready."

Arriving at school!

Well, Alyssa, I know. I know you are ready. You are so totally ready. But mommy will never be ready to let go of her little girl -- even for such a small thing as to take a 10-minute bus ride to school.

I just want you to know that I love you with every fiber of my being and that I like driving you to school. So if you ever decide you don't want to ride the bus, I'll gladly take you there.

Love,
Mommy

Family Rocks!

2011-08-03T08:51:00.002-04:00

It's difficult to label this photo with how everyone is scattered,
but suffice it to say that both of my brothers and
both of my sisters are in it!

Just thinking about how grateful I am to be living in Illinois near my family right now. So much has been going on lately -- so many reasons to celebrate!

On my Dad's side of the family, we seem to go through weeks of "events" like birthdays, baptisms and graduations. That's what happens when you have a large family!

We are now in one such stint -- three weekends in a row of family events! My nephews, Carson and Michael, both turned one; Michael was just baptized; and my nieces Katlin and Kelsey are celebrating their high school graduation!

Last weekend all five of us Verley kids (and our families) were in the same place at the same time! Pretty cool! That was a rare occasion before I moved back!

On my mom's side, we've gotten to do things like go to dinner together, spontaneously meet up for lunch, and go to a gorgeous lakeside farmer's market together.

These feelings of gratitude are further validation that I am where I need to be right now! So glad I can be here!

Socks in the Freezer?

2011-07-28T08:39:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd hear myself say, "Do you wanna put your socks in the freezer?" to my five-year-old. But that's exactly what I said to avert a meltdown yesterday. And guess what!? She took me up on it!

You see, I have this rule about my kids wearing gym shoes and socks to play outside -- it prevents injuries to their cute little tootsies.

But yesterday, it was HOT, and Alyssa didn't want to put them on. I was not going to negotiate on this point or back down, so I had to get creative!

Out of nowhere the freezer idea popped into my head! I'm glad she took me up on it!

After about a minute, she took her socks out of the freezer and put them on with a big smile! "They feel perfect!" she said.

Then, off she went to put on her gym shoes and play outside!

Crisis averted!

Journaling for your Health, Happiness & Healing

2011-07-14T09:05:00.002-04:00

I am often met with a look of resistance when I speak to my clients about the journaling homework they need to do in-between our coaching sessions.

After the look, they start spouting off excuses, such as, "I'm not a good writer," "I don't like to write," "I can't spell," "I don't know what to write about," "I don't have time."

Many people simply don't understand the power of journaling. The truth is that journaling is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Here's an interesting tidbit about how it works -- writing uses your left brain, which is the analytical and rational side. So, while you keep your left brain busy by putting your thoughts on paper, you allow your right brain a chance to open up and be creative. This helps you understand yourself and those around you better and allows you to come up with creative solutions to the challenges you are facing.

Here are the top 5 reasons you should make time to journal:

Journaling helps you clarify your thoughts and feelings
Journaling helps you get to know yourself better
Journaling helps you reduce stress
Journaling helps you solve problems
Journaling helps you heal relationships with others

Here's how you get started:

Buy a journal and pen that you love

Find quiet place

Set the mood with a candle or cup of tea

Journal at the same time each day for 15-20 minutes

Write without editing or censoring

Here's what you can write about:

Write about what makes you happy

Write about what makes you sad

Write about your goals and dreams

Write about what you want to accomplish that day

Write a letter to yourself

Contact me if you would like more information!

Moms, Join Me for a Group Life Coaching Program at the Y

2011-07-10T13:40:00.002-04:00

Being a mother is constant. It never stops. There is more written on each one of our daily “to do” lists than is humanly possible to achieve; and as if that’s not frustrating enough, we’re supposed to make motherhood look easy and show up to every function smiling and looking like beauty queens.

We have the best of intentions. We want to be the best we can be. But, where are we supposed to find the time and energy to do it all?

In this inspiring and motivational exclusive YMCA offering, Certified Master Life Coach Tina Haisman will lead you on an 8-week journey to transforming into the mother and woman you want to be!

Who Should Come?Busy moms who want to learn how to reduce stress and live a healthy and balanced life.

What Will be Covered? In the safety of a supportive environment of other moms, you will learn tools and techniques for handling the many ups and downs of mothering young children and keeping your family happy and healthy. You will pick one area of your life to work on and make better – it can be your health, finances, spirituality, relationships or career. You will learn tools and techniques for achieving your goals.

What are the Top 3 Benefits of a Group Coaching Program?

You surround yourself with other women facing similar challenges.
You learn new techniques for goal-setting, action planning, stress management and more.
You gain motivation from the coach AND the group!

When is it? This program consists of 8 one-hour sessions – one per week, starting Wednesday, July13th

What is the Cost? FREE to YMCA members, $40 for non-members

Where will it be held? Lattof YMCA Meeting Rooms

What do I Need to Bring?Physically, you will need a writing journal and a pen. (They need not be fancy, but they can be fun!) Mentally, you will need an open mind. Emotionally, you will need the desire to make your life even better than it already is!

Testimonials … What are Other People Saying? "Eight weeks of life coaching has made a remarkable difference in my life. Tina has helped me to put action behind several goals that I had set for myself but had been unable to accomplish on my own. Her positivity and encouragement have led me to not only achieve my goals, but also to have a better outlook on life and the challenges I face each day. I would recommend life coaching to anyone who wants to move forward in their life, whether it be in the area of finances, career, relationships, spirituality, or health. And don’t we all?" April

Heaven is for Real

2011-07-05T10:08:00.005-04:00

I read a great book yesterday called Heaven is for Real. It's about a four-year-old boy's trip to Heaven while he was having emergency surgery.

I enjoyed many stories from this book, but one of the things that made the biggest impact on me is how the little boy, Colton, met his sister in heaven -- a baby his mother had miscarried. He did not know about the baby before this experience, because his parents thought he was too young to understand.

Colton told his mom that a little girl came running up to him in Heaven and wouldn't stop hugging him. She told him that she was his sister and that she had died in her mommy's tummy. As Colton told his mom this story, she was, of course, in shock, but he reassured her the little girl was OK, because God adopted her. Wow. (There's more to the story, but I'll let you read it for yourself!)

That story really made me smile, because it reassured me that the baby I miscarried is in heaven waiting for me. I've always believed that in my heart, but this story helped reaffirm that.

The whole miscarriage experience for me was a bit of a shocker -- I was 12 weeks along when I realized the baby was no longer alive. It was a Sunday, just two days after Hurricane Charley hit Southwest Florida. I instinctively knew. Oddly enough, I knew because I felt well for the first time in the pregnancy.

The timing for a miscarriage seemed horrible -- electricity was still out in some places, everyone in town was working to clean up and get back to normal. It was hot and humid and everything felt very heavy.

But, you know me, I always look for the silver lining, and I found many reasons to be grateful during that time -- especially for the love and support of family and friends. And, my belief that my child was taken to Heaven.

So, to read this book and learn that Colton met his unborn sister was awesome. It healed my heart to know that someday I will be able to hug my heavenly baby! :)

Florida Vacation = Fun with Treasured Friends

2011-06-28T09:10:00.003-04:00

We have been looking forward to this vacation for a long time! We planned 5 days at Disney and two weeks in Fort Myers. Wow! A 3-week vacation -- we've never taken that long of a vacation. But with the kids on summer break and 15 years worth of friends and family to visit in Fort Myers, we knew we would want that much time!

It started out with a BANG when one friend and her kiddos met us at Disney -- can you say FUN??? Then, a few days into our Disney trip, we met up with another family who happened to be there at the same time! We made memories for sure!

Once back in Fort Myers, we began calling friends and scheduling the fun. We still have almost a week to go here, but the kids are having a ball seeing all of their Florida friends again! (Not to mention their Grandparents!!!)

On one level, I feel complete joy during these play dates -- because we are able to be here, because the kids can go 6 months without seeing each other and still play like we never left, because our friends make time for us. Because our friends are just generally awesome!

But, I also feel pangs of sadness at times, because we miss our friends, and it's difficult to watch the kids have to say "good-bye" again. Of course, we try not to say "good-bye," and we talk about the next time we will all get together, but it's still emotional.

One of the most profound feelings I feel is of gratitude. That our friends will make time for us during our visit. That we have so much fun when we are together. That our friends will subject their children to having to say "good-bye" again. We are so lucky to have such great friends! My heart is FILLED with love.

We love you guys!!! See you all soon!

"You Guys Make Me Feel Like A Rock Star"

2011-06-09T16:40:00.001-04:00

I have known since she was very young that my daughter, Alyssa, is here to teach me things -- many things. How to be a good friend is one of them.

This year has been one of extreme growth for Alyssa (and I) on the friendship front -- from leaving the comfort of her Florida friends to making new friends in Illinois to learning how to be a good friend.

Watching her this year has reminded me of the quote, "If you want to master it, teach it." Clearly, when I am teaching Alyssa, I am also supposed to be learning.

One recent story Alyssa shared with me was about how she was playing with two other neighborhood friends. They were getting along famously, and, apparently, being very nice to each other. Whatever they were doing caused one of the children to say, "You Guys Make Me Feel Like A Rock Star!"

Wow! What a great lesson. We should all aim to make our friends feel like Rock Stars! I seized the moment to talk to Alyssa about that. And I have since used it to guide her when she faces challenges with friends.

I'm so grateful Alyssa had that experience, because it showed her how good it feels to make someone else feel good. Now we have a very concrete example to go by. And, it gave me a great teaching tool and lesson for myself!

This blog post is written with love, gratitude and admiration for all of the rock stars in my life. xoxoxo

Did We Meet Our April Abundance Goal?

2011-05-26T19:00:00.003-04:00

I must apologize for waiting so long to update on my family's adventure of finding $1,500 in April! Are you wondering if we achieved our goal? Yes, we did! We even beat it by $244! Our total money found was $1,744!

In case you missed it, we set out to "find" an extra $1,500 in April! The money could be found via income or significant savings. Our motivation was to experience the feeling of financial abundance, because we believe our thoughts create our life.

Simply thinking positively about what you want and being aware of when it comes into your life can make all the difference in the world.

Here are a few of the ways we "found" more than $1,500:

A few "just because I love you" cash gifts from my mom and dad (That's just the way they are -- and they had no idea of our plan!)
A trade on new lawn equipment -- Paul will do computer work to earn it!
An amazing deal on our Disney trip that got us a free rental car!
Two huge prescription coupons that cut our out-of-pocket cost in half!
Three amazing Groupons worth nearly $200!

There's more, but these are the biggies!

I believe everyone can attract whatever they want into their life -- whether it's money, friends, romance, health, increased spirituality or increased happiness! It all starts in your mind!

Give it a try! You have NOTHING to lose!

From the Mouths of 8th Graders

2011-04-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

I have been blessed with the opportunity to bring my life coaching gig to the 8th grade students at Tyler and Alyssa's school.

I've been given four 40-minute classes -- one a week for four weeks. Truthfully, it's not much time, but I'm doing my best to impart some life skills on these kids.

The first week we talked about discovering their gifts (both God-given and learned). Last week we talked about the Law of Attraction (What you focus on, you receive). This week we talked about relationships -- mostly the dating kind (yes, they are dating in 8th grade).

I used the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Catherine Middleton to start the conversation, and to capture their attention, I showed them the T-mobile spoof of the royal wedding.

Then, we got down to the serious business of talking about relationships and why they can be so difficult ... about how movies make it look like "happily ever after" is easy ... about what each of us can do to ensure we have healthy relationships ... and so much more in our 40 minutes. But what impressed me the most was the insight of these kids.

I asked them each to come up with one piece of advice for the royal couple. Seriously. Out of the mouths of 8th graders came these very basic, but sensible pieces of advice:

Respect each other
Allow each other space to be his/her own person and spend time with their friends
Love each other
Support each other
Help each other
Don't cheat
Don't lie
Be honest with each other
Have fun
Spend time together
Find a hobby to do together
Laugh together
Communicate with each other
Don't fight
Appreciate each other

I thought these were all great reminders, and I was really impressed with these kids for having this knowledge so young. I also find it funny that I'm there to teach them, but somehow I always walk away feeling like I've learned something, too! Awesome!

Fun with Money

2011-04-14T07:22:00.000-04:00

I'm having fun with money during the month of April and thought I'd share! I'm trying to "find" $1500 through income or purposeful savings.

Tyler and Alyssa on our spring
break vacation -- an activity I'd
like to do more of!

I was inspired by the law of attraction that says we attract what we focus on. So, theoretically, according to the law, if we focus on lack of money, we will receive the experience of having a lack of money. But if we focus on the abundance of money, we will experience an abundance of money.

Now the law of attraction is awesome -- positive thinking is definitely going to bring you better experiences in life, but I believe more is required than just the thinking alone. There must be an action plan. You can't expect to just sit there doing nothing except thinking positively and have money fall into your lap.

The action plan doesn't have to be difficult or incredibly time consuming -- just devote a little time each day to whatever you are trying to change in your life.

So, how am I doing on "finding" $1500 this month? Pretty darn good -- I'm already over $800! There have been a few miscellaneous checks that filtered in, some huge savings on items we would normally buy through coupons and Groupons, random bits of money just showing up, gifted money and more!

I'm also scouring our budget and refining it to make sure we're spending our money wisely and according to plan.

My intention with this exercise is to change my experience with money from a state of worrying about it to enjoying it and truly believing it is abundant. So far so good! What fun!

Experiences Help us Know we are LIVING!

2011-03-26T10:05:00.003-04:00

We just got back from a wonderful mini-vacation in Lake Geneva, WI. It was our first time there. The reason for this blog post is to share my excitement about enjoying new "experiences" and stepping out of our comfort zones.

We stayed at the Timber Ridge Lodge and Waterpark, where they have several pools, hot tubs and two big water slides.

One of those slides was for going down in a raft, which was totally fun! But the other slide was for going down without a raft -- and it was pitch black inside. I wasn't so sure about trying this myself. Paul tried it and said it was fun, but a bit scary. I didn't attempt it the first day, but by the second day, I knew I had to!

I mean really -- kids 48 inches tall were going down this thing and having a ball, why shouldn't I!? So, whoosh, I did, and I'm so glad! What fun! It was a little scary being in the water in the dark, and, to be totally honest, I did have to remind myself to breathe, but it was exhilarating to try it!

The other experience I almost let pass me by was going in the hot tub -- outside. Why? Because every time we walked by it, I froze my butt off. But Paul and Tyler pushed me, "You've gotta try it!" I was hesitant, but OMG! I LOVED IT! I think I found a new favorite activity for when it's 30 degrees outside! I loved the feeling of being soooo warm under the water, while above the water, the fresh air was mixing with the mist and gently brushing across my face. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

As a parent, I notice that Tyler is a bit like me -- a little afraid to try something new -- especially something that could be risky. He did not want to try the water slide on the raft, but I reminded him of how much he loves the ride Test Track at EPCOT ... and how he was reluctant to get on that ride, too. That got him on the water slide in a jiffy!

While we were there, I also noticed the resort uses the word "experience" to describe their daily activity schedule. They say, "We don't remember days, we remember experiences." I thought that was really cool.

Overall, we had many wonderful "experiences" on our trip -- we tried new foods, taught the kids to play checkers, went down water slides, played in the pools, drifted in the lazy river, played family bingo, relaxed by the fire, discovered Lake Geneva and more. What fun!

Who the Heck Am I?

2011-03-23T09:41:00.000-04:00

I seem to be coming across many people lately who don't think they know who they are or what they want to do when they grow up.

I see people who have had a career for many years, but are not feeling happy or fulfilled by their work.

I see people who have been laid off and now have an opportunity to discover what they want to do.

I see people who have already started to explore a new reality, but seem to be backing off for fear they will fail.

I see young moms, who chose to stay home with their children, feeling the desire to start their own business.

I also see more experienced moms -- in their 40's and 50's -- struggling to figure out who they are and what they want to do now that the kids are raised and on their own.

I find this all very interesting, and I wish I could just whisper the word "courage" into their ears. Because the only way to find your true happiness in life is to take some risk and try. But the questions these people ask are, "What if I fail?" or "What if I don't like it?" Self-doubt takes over. Fear grounds them.

My answer to those questions is the same -- at least you got off the fence and tried. At least you took a step forward. Even if your choice does not work out, it was still a step forward. Why? Because you now have more information than before you tried it.

Is it this simple? Not exactly. But there is a process. All it takes is drive and determination on your part.

What is the alternative? Living an unhappy, unfulfilled life? Feeling like you're going nowhere? Why would you live that way when you know a fulfilling career is possible? Contact me when you're ready to love your life and your career!

How Alyssa's Preschool Gave me a Helpful Life Experience With Alyssa

2011-03-20T10:06:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to share an interesting experience I am going through with Alyssa. There seemed to be some issues going on in her preschool class that ended up with Alyssa having hurt feelings and crying quite often. One morning on the way to school, Alyssa said through tears, "I want move back to Florida so I can have my Florida friends back, because these friends are too hard."

Oh my goodness. That broke my heart.

The teacher and I talked about this issue and were working on it, when one day she suddenly put all of the puzzle pieces together. She said some of the the other children in class may be experiencing jealousy toward Alyssa, because her mom has been volunteering in the classroom.This created an interesting dynamic.

Here's one example of what was happening: When I arrived at school to volunteer, the whole class would come running over to hug me, nearly knocking me down. Alyssa used to be a part of that big hug. She seemed proud to have her mom at school.

But as the year went on, I noticed she would not come hug me -- she would go off by herself. I wondered why. It seemed like she looked sad, too...but why would that be? Her mom was at school -- wouldn't that make her happy?

The teacher suggested I take a break from volunteering in the classroom to see if it worked better for Alyssa.

At first, I felt bad and sad about it, but after I had time to process the situation and talk with my life coach, I realized this was definitely the best thing. My life coach helped me to see what was happening energetically.

She said if you take out of your mind who the people are and just describe the situation you will see what is happening more clearly. So, in our case, a source of love (a parent) walks into a classroom of four and five-year-olds who have been away from their parents all day. The children are thirsty for love, so they run to the source of the love for a hug. This makes the child of the source of love feel abandoned, because she think there is no room for her with the source of love, so she goes off by herself, feeling bad.

My life coach also reminded me of something I didn't think I'd see until Alyssa was a teenager -- there tends to be an inherent feeling of competition between mothers and daughters. Well, regardless what her age is, the feeling of competition with her mother is not something I wish for my daughter to experience at all. So, I knew it was time to talk to Alyssa immediately.

Here's how our conversation went:

Me: Alyssa, how does it make you feel when mommy gets to school and all of the other kids come running up to me and give me a hug?

Alyssa: Sad.

Me: Sad? Why?

Alyssa: Because I think they like you more than me.

Oh my gosh. How sad to think that she thought that. And how amazing that a five-year-old could put that into words so simply.

I am grateful I took the time to talk with her teacher and my life coach, because it prepared me for that conversation with her.

I explained to her that her friends love her very much, and that even though they run to her mom for a hug at school, it's only because they wish they were hugging their mom instead.

I told her how much I love her and that there will always be enough love in my heart for her and her freinds, too! We ended the conversation with a big hug and a giggle as she started to get emotional and instructed me that we could stop talking about it now. OMG!

Forgiveness is Part of the Very Essence of Life

2011-02-05T18:03:00.001-05:00

Today at Tyler's First Reconciliation prayer service, we read Colossians 3:12-15. I love this passage. I won't go on and on about why, but rather, I'll just share it with you, in case it will do your heart good to read it!

"Brothers and Sisters:

God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.

Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace.

So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts and be grateful."

Amen!

How would life be different if ...

2011-02-01T16:50:00.001-05:00

How would life be different if you knew you are exactly where you are supposed to be? Whether you are currently living in the best time of your life or the most difficult time of your life ... whether you are happily cruising through life or dragging and feeling stuck in life.

Wouldn't you be able to handle the experience more peacefully if you knew you were supposed to be living it?

How would that change your attitude? Would it change any of your behaviors? Would you be able to accept it?

All of our experiences in life are designed to raise our consciousness and take us to the next level of living. If we can recognize that and accept it; it will be much easier to see the lessons we are supposed to be learning. There are always lessons. :)

What about this poor little doggie in the tree. Imagine what on earth he did to get stuck like that. Was he chasing a squirrel? How does he feel now that he is stuck? Frustrated? Scared? Lonely? Annoyed? Hungry? Does he like to be stuck? Does he want to feel this way again? No, of course not!

So, now that the doggie has taken an inventory of how it felt to be stuck, the next time the squirrel comes around tormenting him he will remember not to chase the squirrel up the two trees that are super close together.

You see, getting stuck served him. He learned a lesson. Who knows what harm that lesson will protect him from in the future.

Although you might not find yourself in the exact same predicament as this dog, you too can learn from every experience in your life. Are you frustrated in your marriage? Having trouble at work? Tired of family bickering? Struggling with finances? Sick and tired of being sick and tired?

If so, stop for a moment the next time you feel the frustration and see if you can figure out what you can learn from the situation. What can you do differently to get a different result?

Only when we slow down to examine our situation can we begin to see the necessary steps to get where we want to be!

The Art of Patience

2011-01-30T21:48:00.001-05:00

Our family has been gifted with the experience of patience during the last eight months while we had our Florida house up for sale.

I thought I'd write a little bit about our experience, because I find patience to be an interesting topic.

I believe there is more than one type of patience -- there is the active kind and the non-active kind -- and it all starts in the mind. For example, while our Florida house was on the market, I never used the words "Waiting for our house to sell." Why? Because the word "waiting" is passive. Instead I chose to say, "While we sell our Florida home" -- a more active tone.

Having patience is hugely important in life, but it does not mean you do nothing.

While our Florida home was on the market, Paul and I adopted the attitude that our Florida home would sell when our Illinois home was ready for us. We trusted the process. We believed in God's plan and we knew he would put us where he wanted us to be.

Even so, this did not mean we would do nothing during the time our home was on the market. We became active participants in the selling process. We kept in touch with our real estate agent with weekly phone calls, we kept up on market conditions and pricing, we constantly brainstormed and tried new ideas to get attention for the home, and we started, updated and marketed a blog about the house. We did not sit around "waiting" for the sale.

The view from the Master Bdrm.

In addition to the work we did marketing our home, we also consciously worked to enjoy life as it was. You can find evidence of that scattered throughout the pages of this blog. The reason for that is because if you sit in life "waiting" for the next thing, you will be missing out on the life going on around you. And you will miss out on the lessons and gifts that come out of every experience in life -- even the difficult or stressful ones.

Having said that, I must admit the biggest test of our patience came during the closing process of the home sale, and it nearly sent us over the edge. We had to work very hard to remind ourselves that everything would work out. Keeping sane was a big job during that time. We are so grateful to our friends and family who helped to remind us ... "This too shall pass!"

... And, yes, it has passed! Our Florida home is now being taken care of by new owners, and we are super excited to move into our new home! I want to say, "I can't wait!" But I know better! :)

Beyond Frustration

2011-01-25T10:18:00.006-05:00

This is our new home that we are excited to move into!

It's been a while since I've written. I've been thinking about what to write, but not sure about what to write. Meanwhile, I've been experiencing some very frustrating and stressful times. So, I thought I'd just write to get it out of my head and share with others in case it is helpful to you somehow.

The closing on our Florida home was scheduled for Jan. 14. About a week before, the bank for our buyers requested a one week extension. Fine. Honestly -- we questioned the Jan. 14th date from the start, but were assured by both our agent and the buyers' agent that it would be fine.

So, the closing was re-scheduled for Jan 21. Our attorney and title company had everything ready to go and were only waiting on the buyers' bank to send the loan packet. The entire day of Jan. 21 went by without any acknowledgement from the bank. Our attorney called. Our agent called. The buyers' agent called. Our attorney emailed. Our agent emailed. The buyers' agent emailed. No response all day long.

Finally, at the end of the day on Friday, we heard back from the bank and they said they were sorry for the inconvenience and that we would close on Monday. That they would reassign the loan to a local Fort Myers-based mortgage person and that we would have the loan packet first thing Monday morning. As frustrated as we were, we decided to give them another chance.

So, first thing Monday morning came ... and went. No loan packet. The loan was not reassigned. Again -- an entire day of calls and emails to the bank with no response until the end of the day. We began to question how long they were going to drag this out. They had 46 days to work on the packet, and it was as if not a single thing had been done yet. Plus, they ignored us all day long -- again.

At this point, it's Tuesday at 9 a.m. CST. We are still not closed on our house. From what I understand the loan packet did come in during the night and we should be closing later today. I truly hope that is the case.

Part of me is so frustrated that I want to tell you who the bank is. I want the guy who screwed this up to be fired -- and maybe his manager. I wonder if the company that is relocating our buyers to Fort Myers hired the bank for their relocations -- if so, I want to shout to them that they need to fire the bank.

I want to call the bank and give them a piece of my mind. Via email they apologized for the inconvenience -- REALLY?! We are talking about peoples lives and thousands of dollars here. You're sorry for the inconvenience? Are you sorry for ignoring calls and emails? Are you sorry you just flat out did not do your job???

So, how does this story fit in with life coaching? Well, one of the best things you can do to clear frustrations from your mind is to write them out. Check. Next, you write out your intention for the situation -- my intention is to have a successful and peaceful sales transaction for our Florida home in time to close on our Illinois home. Check. Third, you write what you are grateful for -- we are grateful we have time between house closings! Check. Final step, write out your action plan. Our plan is to continue to follow-up with phone calls, remain calm with the other people involved and to see if we can re-list the house if the deal does not go through today. Check.

Wish us luck!

How our family shifted out of survival mode into fun mode

2011-01-01T14:30:00.001-05:00

As many can relate to, having children drastically changes one’s life. After my husband, Paul, and I had children, we unknowingly went into survival mode – a mode where we were just trying to keep our heads above water to keep up with all of our new responsibilities.

Survival mode is a very real thing, and unfortunately, too many of us get stuck there at some point in our lives. When you are stuck in survival mode, it’s difficult to have a positive attitude. You worry about things you can’t control. You spend too much time reliving the past and worrying about the future.

When you are in survival mode, it’s difficult to relax and live in your moments. It’s a state of living in constant stress, and you become burned out. That is most definitely where we were – burned out.

We were so overwhelmed by the job of parenting these two precious souls that we stopped living in other areas of our life. At times I felt as if I couldn’t even think to plan fun things to do, because my brain was so consumed with surviving each day. Thank goodness we had amazing friends and family who planned the fun and invited us along!

I’m not saying we didn’t have any fun at all – we most certainly did, but there was always this subtle, heavy heap of worry and stress that we unknowingly allowed to weigh us down.

I started working with a life coach about two years ago, and that is what started our climb out of death valley and back into life. Paul also chose to work with a life coach, which really helped get us both on the same page. We learned a lot about living in the moment and being grateful for what we have.

It has been a lot of work, and a lot has happened in the past two years, but once again, we are finally living. In addition to the work Paul and I have done on ourselves and our marriage, our kids are getting older – they are not babies anymore – and they don’t rely on us for every sip of water or snack or even to get dressed. This feels like someone lifted a weight off our shoulders.

Before 2010 began, Paul and I committed to a year of adventure, and what an adventure it was. The biggest adventure was our move to Illinois, of course, but before we moved, we shared many new experiences in Florida, including, sleeping on the floor of a children’s museum with 50 Cub Scouts and their families, camping with the Cub Scouts, and discovering Disney theme parks for the first time!

Once in Illinois, we went to the horse races, started exploring the city of Chicago, visited a real pumpkin patch, raked leaves, shoveled snow, went sledding, cut down our very first real Christmas tree and more!

We are having so much fun and making many wonderful memories – even while we have been working on selling our Florida home. Let me tell you what a huge stress that is – it’s HUGE. But, we have not allowed that stress to stop us from living. We have learned to make the best out of every situation we encounter and to be grateful for what we have.

I am sharing this story to encourage anyone out there who may be experiencing challenging times. We all experience challenges, but it’s how you respond to them that really defines who you are. You know what they say, “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.” If you’d like help embracing this 90/10 principle, contact me!

New Year, New You

2010-12-31T10:31:00.001-05:00

The changing of the year is a natural time of reflection to look back upon the successes and difficulties you experienced in 2010.

Let's approach 2011 with the attitude that the worst of our problems are now behind us. Take a big, cleansing deep breath. Let go of the problems. Watch them float away as you exhale. Wipe the slate clean and know the challenges you faced in 2010 have made you stronger and taught you valuable lessons.

Instead of becoming bitter as a result of your challenges, open your heart with compassion toward people in similar situations and let go of any blame or feelings of victim hood.

This type of a positive outlook will attract love and a peaceful, prosperous 2011.

Happy New Year!

--If you would like to work with someone on cultivating this positive attitude in 2011, contact me! I have programs in place to guide you on your journey.

Sledding!

2010-12-28T09:01:00.000-05:00

Today I read the quote "When was the last time you did something for the first time?" by Kobi Yamada. It reminded me about our recent sledding adventures.

Moving back to Illinois has been such an adventure for us -- sharing new and old experiences with the kids.

Sledding has definitely been one of them. Although it's not a first for me, it's like a first, because it has been so long! It's exhilarating -- flying down those big hills, trying to steer with no steering wheel, letting out girly screams, snow flying up in your face!

We've got three different sleds right now, so we all take turns on the different sleds and try find as many different ways to go down as possible. I can't say I can pick a favorite, but one of my favorite ways to go down the hill is on my belly on our purple penguin blow-up sled. It seemed like such a crazy thing to do, at first -- to go head first -- but, wow, what fun! I think I'm addicted!

Part of what makes the experience so great, aside from the rush, is that everyone around us is having fun, too.

I was so moved by watching the adults -- they are having as much fun as the kids during this so-called "kids activity." I hear the joy in their laughter and recognize the exhilaration in their voice. And it's fun to watch them "help" their kids discover different ways to fly down the hill!

I was sure during this fun-filled time to also take a moment to look around at the beauty of the landscape -- the sun was shining, the sky was bright blue, the bare, brown trees surrounded the hill, the snow was crisp and white. The snow hill was peppered all around with people sledding down and walking up. The voices of everyone around us were cheerful, joyful and excited. How wonderful! Happy Winter! Enjoy this video clip Paul bravely took while sledding on the disc!

I could be saying, "WTF"

2010-12-21T08:41:00.005-05:00

When I moved back to Illinois, I thought I was going to enjoy a lot of time with my family -- I had visions of family bar-b-que's, adventures to area attractions and lots of snuggle time with my new nephews. I am certainly doing that, but it's not turning out quite how I imagined at the moment.

I am sharing this story to teach what I am learning about how to deal with life and hopefully inspire others who might need to hear a positive message.

There are several things causing stress, but two that are pretty big. My sister is pregnant, and her baby has been diagnosed with the same disease that took her first-born child up to heaven less than two years ago. The doctors said it most likely wouldn't happen again and seem to be as shocked as the rest of us that it did. This time around Kara and baby are getting much better care -- unfortunately the specialists are in Philly, not Chicago, so she is experiencing stress surrounding the extra travel and time away from work.

The other biggie is that my dad is fighting lung cancer. He was diagnosed just before Thanksgiving. I know he will beat it, but I also know we have a battle ahead of us.

So, when we are faced with stressful life experiences such as these, what are we to do?

I choose to look to my faith. Although I very much feel the stress from these two events, I know what to do to help reduce it -- pray, meditate and live in the moment. I also need to have a positive attitude.

I have learned to never underestimate the power of prayer, that sometimes I need to stop talking and listen and that living in the moment is the only answer. If I were to crumble to the ground from the stress and not enjoy the time I spend with my family, I would be missing out on life -- my life.

As far as my attitude, it is tempting sometimes when the stress feels so overwhelming to wonder, "What in the world is going on?" I didn't anticipate any of this happening -- maybe my move from Florida brought it on, because ever since I've gotten here, "bad" things have been happening.

But I know better, and the thought I most often have is, "Thank God I am here." Could you imagine if I was in Florida and all of this was going on up here? It's validation to me that God has a plan for everything, and he made sure I would be here right now. Thank you, God.

--Written with love and devotion for my family ... xoxoxo

Preparing for our First Snowy Day

2010-12-03T21:18:00.004-05:00

Tyler's first snow experience at 2 yrs old.

We are so excited here at the Haisman household! Weather forecasters predict snow will begin falling tonight around midnight and will accumulate to 3-5 inches by the end of the day tomorrow.

Paul thinks this is perfectly scripted for our first snowfall -- it's a Friday night -- so the weekend is at hand! It's at night, so it won't interrupt any activities, and in the morning, we will all wake up to snowy white grounds -- this will be the first time ever for Tyler and Alyssa!

(For the record, Tyler will tell you he played in the snow when he was 2 years old. He did. But, of course, he does not remember it. He's only seen pictures!)

Paul and Tyler have a plan to wake up at 2 a.m. and sneak outside for some fun! Mommy and Alyssa are not invited!

Alyssa's snow pants aren't pink.

Alyssa, my 5-year-old, is having a fashion meltdown because her snow pants aren't pink! Seriously! She cried about it. What is a mom to do? Do they make pink snow pants? I'm sure they do, but these were a generous hand-me-downs, and we are using them!

As if the pink issue wasn't enough, she also protested that they were the overall type. She's no farm-girl?! Paul had to make up a story about how Tyler's snow pants were going to fall down and expose his bare bottom because he doesn't have overalls. That made her laugh and seemed to diffuse the situation. Oh my goodness. Too funny!

So, Paul got the kids all excited and had them get all of their snow clothes out and put them next to their beds! How cute!

Stay tuned and we'll share some of our first snowy adventures!

Is it Possible to Live in a State of Thanksgiving Gratitude All Year Long?

2010-11-25T10:23:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Since feeling thankful is on everyone’s mind, I thought it would be a great time to talk about gratitude – the kind of thankfulness you have all year long.

http://www.allaboutgratitude.com/

Gratitude is being thankful for what you have in your life on a daily basis – even in the face of adversity.

Of course, we all have challenges in life, but it’s how we choose to look at them that makes or breaks us. A wise man once told me, “You become what you think about.” So, if you’re thinking about how horrible a certain situation is, you are creating more of that. However, if you can start looking for the good in the situation, you will continue to find more of the good.

Living in a state of gratitude focuses you on the NOW – not on the past that you can’t change – and not on the future that you have no control over.

Today is a great day to practice living in the now. Enjoy this time with your family and friends. Thank those who have made a big impact in your life.

One way to stay in a state of gratitude all year long is to keep a gratitude journal. Spend a few minutes each day writing about all of the things you are feeling grateful for in that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Will You be Lured Away from Your Thanksgiving Celebration to Appease the Retailers?

2010-11-24T12:01:00.004-05:00

This morning I saw a headline in USA Today about more retailers opening their doors for shopping on Thanksgiving Day.

Experts are saying Thanksgiving is not as sacred a day as it was even a few years ago.

The story also says that opening on Thanksgiving is an experiment to see how “penny pinching consumers” will respond. I question this approach.

One of the great things about Thanksgiving is that it exemplifies what a true holiday means – spending time with friends and family – usually without the giving and receiving of gifts. Yes, gifts are a wonderful way to show someone you love them, and we certainly experience plenty of that at Christmas. But the unique thing about Thanksgiving is that it is not associated with gifts.

Thanksgiving is a fantastic time to slow down and appreciate all that we have in our lives. It’s the only “official” day of the year for it. But, now that retailers are inviting everyone out of their homes, away from their families, on Thanksgiving, will the holiday lose its meaning? Will people be so tempted by the opportunity to save a buck that they won’t even take this one day to appreciate all they have in their life? Is everyone going to be in a hurry to down their turkey so they can be first in line for the “door buster” sales?

It will be interesting to see how consumers respond. Will the retailers win out by offering deals sweeter than Thanksgiving dessert? I would ask us all to think about how quickly we want to rush from our special Thanksgiving celebrations to the stores. Don’t get me wrong! I am all about saving money – but I’m not going to sacrifice my family time on Thanksgiving Day to save a few bucks.

You Get What You Give

2010-11-20T11:27:00.002-05:00

Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? It basically says, "You get what you give." That means if you dish out negative words, thoughts or actions, you will attract negative words, thoughts and actions back to you.

It's all about the energy. Do you want to be surrounded by positive energy or negative energy? It's your choice.

Let's use Facebook as an example. When we post negative comments and thoughts, we feed our life with negative energy. How? Because then everyone around us feeds off of that negative energy with their negative comments. But, when we post positive comments, we feed our life with positive energy. Because then, people will post positive comments.

I know it's difficult. Trust me. There have been times even in the last few days when I felt so frustrated I wanted to shout out that frustration to the world, and Facebook seems like a good place to do it because you have an audience who will validate you. Facebook gives us a sense of immediate gratification because of our friends' replies, but our problem is not solved, and those negative feelings are still there. Plus, we've given all of our friends the gift of negativity in their day.

This is not to say we should not write about anything negative. But, there is a place for it that will be more therapeutic than just shouting it out to the world.

Where is that place? Your journal. Go ahead. Get your journal and write out every negative thought you have. Get it out of your head. That is awesome, therapeutic work. Then, shift your thoughts to gratitude for what you do have today. Finally, come up with an action step to take in the direction of shifting your negative situation to something that suits you better.

You see, shouting out those negative thoughts is a call asking someone to please say something to make us feel better. But, the truth is, we are the only ones who can make ourselves feel better.

Give this technique a try. And if you need help, call on me!

Sending positive energy to everyone today!

What to do When You are Overwhelmed

2010-11-14T10:41:00.000-05:00

I was recently feeling so overwhelmed I turned to my life coaching tool box. In it I found a great way to help free my mind -- a life inventory.

I got out my journal (where I keep all of my thoughts). I grabbed my purple pen (a spiritual color for me). I put myself in a mind frame of asking for divine guidance. Then, I did a brain dump. I started writing down everything I want or need to get done this week.

I wrote down 37 things. Some things are simple tasks, some are more complicated -- things like playing with the kids, cleaning the house, working on marketing my business, finding a babysitter for the kids, exercising....and on and on.

It felt great to get it out of my head and onto paper where I could actually see it. Then I began to analyze my list. I asked myself, "What are the most important things?" I ranked playing with the kids way up there, but I realized I often let all of the other less important things get in the way of that.

Writing a life inventory really helped me see where I am spending my time versus where I want to be spending my time. It also empowered me to cross a few things off the list. It gave me permission to say "no" to less important tasks that don't fit in with my priorities.

It also allowed me to receive help. I was not expecting this! I shared my list with my husband, and, wouldn't you know it, he took one of the things off the list for me -- getting the oil changed in my car. What a huge gift! Really! I'd been putting it off for many reasons.

I felt so much more at peace after this process. I think it's something I should do sooner, rather than later next time those feelings of overwhelm start creeping in!

Oops! I messed up!

2010-11-10T13:00:00.003-05:00

shirt.woot.com

I had an experience last week that made me feel very grateful for my life coaching tool box. The life coaching tool box is where you go when you have a problem. It is filled with tools to help bring your mind from chaos to peace. The problem I had was that I needed to say, "I'm Sorry."

So, what happened, you are wondering. Well, I received a call from someone I am close with. That person asked me a question that sent a dagger straight through my heart and severed several nerves. Ouch! That hurt.

Instead of remaining calm, cool and collected, I answered the question sarcastically. I got terse and asked the reason for the question. My words and my tone let that person know I was annoyed.

I hung up the phone and complained to my husband about the nerve of this person. Then I went to bed and slept on it...knowing I had some work ahead of me. The next morning I got up and got out my trusty journal. This is where the life coaching tool box comes into play.

I first journaled my feelings about the situation -- the good, bad and ugly. Then, I put myself in that person's shoes and realized that call must have been difficult for them to make. Next, I looked at what I could be grateful for with the situation -- among other things, this person had the courage to ask the question. And, we can always be grateful for the opportunity to say we are sorry. Finally, I worked on my action plan. It was to write out my sincere apology and call that person back and give it.

Why write out an apology? It's really important to get clear on what you are going to say before you say it. In my case, I needed to take responsibility for my actions. Apologize for my words and my tone. Explain why I responded that way. That I was being selfish. That I would do my best not to respond that way in the future. That it is not my intention to lose my cool. That I don't want them to be afraid to call me, because they will get a crabby response.That I love them. Lucky for me, my apology was accepted, and it was a nice conversation.

Although it's difficult, saying you're sorry is actually a very beautiful process, because it allows the person who messed up to come down from their throne, clear the air, and show the person who got the brunt of the mistake that they are loved. It works to establish trust between the two people -- that they are both human, but that they are willing to admit mistakes and forgive one another. It allows both people to let that experience float away instead of having it drag them down with resentment. Isn't that a beautiful thing?

If you need help mastering the art of saying "I'm Sorry," contact me.

Written with love for everyone I've had to say I'm sorry to! :)

Rihanna's new song exposes a secret!

2010-10-27T13:40:00.000-04:00

http://www.rihannanow.com/

Lately I can't get that new Rihanna song "Only Girl" out of my head ... "Want you to make me feel, like I'm the only girl in the world..." I love it! It's got a great beat, and it's fun!

But, besides that, while listening to some of the lyrics, I realized she let the whole world in on a big relationship secret. Are you ready for it?

One of the primary things a woman desires from her partner is to be made to feel like she is the only one in his world. The most important person in his life. That he notices her and that he thinks she is beautiful. That he is grateful for her.

What can a woman do to let her partner know she feels this way?

One surefire way is "to be who you want to be with." If you are a woman reading this article, and you would like your husband to treat you like you are the only girl in the world, start treating him like he is the only man in the world. Be consistent. Stick with it. Give it at least three weeks, then ask your spouse if he noticed anything different. Talk about your experience. See what happens. Keep me posted! I'd love to hear about your experience.

Anger Strikes at Starbucks

2010-10-26T12:40:00.001-04:00

I witnessed an incident at Starbucks that inspired me to write. A girl and her friend were sitting outside enjoying some coffee, when the mother of one of them walked up and a fight ensued. The girls were probably right around 20 years old.

I tried not to listen, but it was difficult. The gist of what happened is that the daughter wouldn't tell her mother where she was going, who she was going with or when she was going. She refused to check-in with her mother. Her mother said she wanted to know where the girl was so she didn't have to worry. They were so angry with each other, I could feel the heat.

http://www.freeimages.co.uk/

I felt bad for them both and wished they knew a better way to deal with conflict.

While listening to them, some of the first thoughts that came to my mind were respect and control. Both parties need to have respect for each other -- the daughter, who is presumably living under her mother's roof, and the mother, because her daughter is an adult now.

Both are using control to irritate the other. The mother is being controlling with the way she is demanding to know many details about the daughter's where-a-bouts, and the daughter is being controlling, by purposefully withholding information. It's a power struggle.

I wondered what would happen if each of them put themselves in the other person's shoes. If the daughter could ponder what might be going through her mother's mind, and how her mother might feel with no idea where her daughter is or who she is with. What if the mother could reflect on her younger years when she wanted freedom and flexibility from her parents? Could this be how her daughter is feeling now?

Even when there are years of resentment built up between people -- as was evident with this mother and daughter -- every one of us has the power to change the course for the better. One day at a time. One interaction at a time.

Let's imagine a new scenario. The mother comes up to the table and vents her frustration to her daughter. Instead of firing back, what if the daughter acknowledges her mother and says, "I love you, mom. I can see you're really upset by this. Can we talk about it later tonight?" No matter what the mother says -- even if she continues to fire back -- the daugher remains calm, loving and consistent in her request to continue the conversation later. Because, the truth is, no good will come out of a volatile conversation where one or both of the people involved are overly emotional and not thinking clearly.

Think it's impossible? It's not. Yes, it takes practice. Yes, it takes self-control. No, it is not easy. But, is the end-result worth it? YES! We can all start healing difficult relationships in our lives by handling difficult conversations like this one in a new manner.

-- Written with prayerful hope for this mother and daughter to heal their relationship.

Living Large! A Celebration for Tyler and Alyssa

2010-10-22T09:10:00.001-04:00

We had parent-teacher conferences at Tyler and Alyssa's school yesterday. I left there feeling so fantastic that I knew we had to celebrate!

I keep tabs on the kids' school work, I volunteer in Alyssa's classroom, I try to attend the field trips, and I periodically set up playdates with the kids and their parents. So I feel like I'm aware of how they are doing academically and socially. I have my eye on them! :)

But to sit down face-to-face with the teachers and hear the amazing things they said about how Tyler and Alyssa are doing felt so wonderful!

Especially because of our move. Of course, Paul and I were worried about what would happen if we moved. How would the children adjust? I believe we are getting our answer! They are doing just fine!

It's not magic that they are adjusting well, though. It's because of the conscious efforts of their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and teachers. Everyone has been so encouraging, welcoming and helpful.

So, yesterday at 3:00 we decided to hop on the train to meet Paul downtown for some Chicago-style fun! We toured the John Hancock Observatory and learned about some of the City's landmarks.

We stepped inside the American Girl store at Water Tower Place for Alyssa. You should have seen the smile on her face!

We grabbed dinner at a really cool-looking Cheesecake Factory at the bottom of the Hancock Building.

Then we walked down the Miracle Mile in awe of how the lights from the buildings twinkle in the clear night sky. The air was crisp ... our steps were light ... it was so much fun ... wow, what a gorgeous night!

--Written with love and gratitude for all of the people encouraging us and helping us adjust to our new home. Thank you!

What are the Sparrows here to teach me?

2010-10-14T09:43:00.003-04:00

Do you believe God uses nature as a tool to communicate with us? I do. Whenever an animal starts making its presence known to me, I try to look it up. It's as easy as typing "spiritual meaning (insert your animal here)" into Google and finding a reputable site.

I've had many an animal to Google in the past couple of years. The most recent one that came to me was the sparrow.

While I was growing up, my Grandmother always fed the sparrows in her driveway. Now that I am living in her home, I am the one feeding the sparrows. The kids and I have been doing it all summer long, but it didn't occur to me to look them up until this week. Why? Probably because they're such an ordinary bird. Nothing exotic.

Well, wouldn't you know it. Those darn sparrows do have a message for me. Because the sparrow is small, part of its spiritual significance is to remind me that I do not need a big house or flashy car to be important.

Very interesting considering we are living in my Grandmother's modest home while we work on selling our Florida home. As the market has continued to decline over time, the price of our home has had to go down right along with it -- making us realize we are not going to be able to buy the Northern home we have been dreaming of. We have had to scale down our expectations quite a bit. We're OK with that and are actually thinking smaller is better, anyway...perhaps it will allow us more of a travel budget to get back to Florida and visit family and friends there!

The sparrow also brings spiritual messages of simplicity, and boy are we enjoying that here at my Grandmother's house. Most of our belongings are still in our Florida home, so we are making do with much less. Guess what!? We are doing more than "making do," we are actually doing very well. Paul loves his job, the kids love their school, and I'm busy with my business and enjoying being near friends and family.

Here's to the sparrow!

-- Written with love and honor for Grandma who always took care of the birds.

Why is it so difficult to live in the moment?

2010-10-07T10:07:00.000-04:00

What does it mean to "live in the moment?" To me, it means to try to enjoy each moment of our day. To enjoy each task. To find fun in everything we do. To find the gifts in every experience. To be present with ourselves and with our loved ones.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was walking to the park with the kids. It is SO easy to get caught up with everything we have to do that we often miss out on life itself.

One of the ways I try to live in my moments is by taking the scenic route to school every day. There is a faster way, but we have found a way that we really enjoy and that provides a view that we love.

I also make stops from time-to-time to look at wildlife or interesting construction projects. One morning this week we stopped at a park that had frost all over the ground.

Tyler and Alyssa have never seen frost before. So I pulled over, parked and sent them running in the field to see what it looked like up close...to touch the grass and see what it felt like. It was a beautiful sight, really, and I realized that we were living in our moment. We took a detour from the road we were headed on for just a couple of minutes to explore and play!

How will you play today?

The Husband and Wife Ironing Controversy

2010-09-30T10:19:00.001-04:00

Photo from http://www.oneinchpunch.net/

One of my clients had an interesting controversy about ironing and her husband that I wanted to share. Her husband hates ironing. So does she. Neither one of them is good at it.

Leah had this internal, old-fashioned voice inside that told her she should be ironing for her husband. That is what she saw her mom do. That thought is an old agreement she believed about what she thought roles and responsibilities are for a stay-at-home mom.

But in the real world in the 2000's, Leah does not like ironing. She barely irons her own clothes. Also, she works from home and does not think she has extra time to iron for him during the day -- when she isn't taking care of the kids, she is working. Some of her thoughts were, "He doesn't iron my clothes, why should I iron his. We are in this 50-50. I work just as hard around here all day as he does at work."

Every time her husband picked up the iron he ended up swearing and getting totally frustrated. Because of Leah's internal beliefs that she should be the one ironing, she felt a dagger go into her heart every time she heard him get pissed off as he was ironing. Part of her felt bad, like she should iron for him, but another part of her thought he needs to be responsible for his own ironing, just as she was hers.

This went on for years. Like more than 10. And they never really talked about it. It was just an experience that kept occurring.

It recently came to light again. Leah heard her husband complaining about ironing more and more. But she didn't say much other than to suggest he look for a tutorial video on YouTube. He did that, but didn't really find anything helpful.

photo from http://www.oneinchpunch.net/

Finally, one day, Leah decided to try to help make her husband's ironing experience better. She went out and bought him a new iron and ironing board. Her husband was excited about the new purchases and hoped it would help, but it only helped a little bit. He still got frustrated when he ironed.

Leah's next idea was to take his shirts to the cleaners to be professionally pressed. She did that and surprised him one day. It worked! He loved the surprise! They talked about the expense, which neither one of them had too much of a problem with, considering the frustration the ironing caused.

Finally, knowing he was in a good mood about the subject, Leah was brave enough to be honest with her husband. She said she had this old-fashioned, internal belief that she should be ironing for him, but that she did not want to. She said it felt like a dagger in her heart when she heard him get frustrated about ironing, because she thought the swear words were aimed at her. She said she didn't want his ironing to be her responsibility, but she wouldn't mind dropping shirts off at the cleaners and picking them up. He said she was awesome. That made her feel very relieved.

The moral of this story is in communication. Leah should have been more honest with her husband a long time ago, but she wasn't because she was afraid to rock the boat. Instead, she let this pattern repeat itself for more than 10 years and grate on both of their nerves. Now the issue is out in the open, making it easier for both of them to be honest.

Ouch!

2010-09-14T23:22:00.005-04:00

Ouch! That hurt! Today I saw some new recent pictures and a virtual tour of our Florida home, and it stung. Looking at the pictures made me feel a little bit sad. It made me miss the house and our life in it.

It looks so beautiful -- inside and out. I love what we've done with the place, if I don't say so myself!

On one hand, it was nice to see the lawn was green and the pool was blue ... rather than green, but, seeing all of our furniture and belongings there was difficult.

I know it's just "stuff" and that what really matters is we're all healthy and together. Most of the time I think positively like that, but sometimes it's difficult.

It's stressful that the house has not sold yet, because it represents a huge piece of unfinished business -- and our largest asset. Questions arise, like how much will it sell for? When will it sell? Will we have enough for a down payment for a new home? Should I buy Alyssa a new baby doll stroller since she keeps asking for the one in our Florida home? How much should we spend on decorating the place we are in now? How long are we going to be here?

I hadn't thought about how much I missed our house until I saw it in pictures today.

Seeing those pictures did more than make me feel sad though, it actually taught me something. I realized that although I always loved our home, I tended to look at its imperfections, rather than its overall beauty. Instead of seeing a beautiful family home, I often saw dusty shelves, vacuuming that needed to be done and kids toys that needed to be put away. Now I look at the pictures of our home, and I see beauty.

Today I acknowledged there are a lot of things about this situation I don't know, but I realized there are a lot of things about this situation I do know. I know another family will eventually walk through the front doors and fall in love with the house just like we did. I know God is in control and that He works in His own time. I know we are all together, happy and healthy. I know my family has been hugely blessed by the opportunity to live in my Grandmother's house during this time. I know it's not the house that makes the home -- it's the people in it. I know I'm home as long as I have my family. I know home is where the heart is.

Parenting Dilemmas

2010-09-03T18:02:00.001-04:00

It's been an interesting week for me -- I've been deliberating about whether to send Alyssa to school for half-days or full days.

My initial thought was to send her half days this semester and full days next semester.

The class she is in is a full day class. She was the only one leaving after half the day.

But, after the first week, Alyssa expressed her preference to go for the full day. She said she didn't have enough time to play when she left after a half day.

Part of me was jumping for joy at the thought of having from 8 a.m. until 2 p.m. every day to work and get my stuff done. But, part of me felt I should keep her with me as long as I could...to completely fulfill my stay-at-home-mom duties and to continue to mold and shape Alyssa with our family values.

Ahhhh....the dilemma.

I spoke with her teacher about it, and she thought Alyssa would do fine, so we decided to try it for a few days this week. Of course, Alyssa took right to it.

On the first day she was going to go the full day, she flat out told me, "Mommy, if you need to cry you can bury your face in my princess pillow." Seriously?!?! My four-year-old just said that to me?

Then, she gave me a plastic fairy window decoration she made and said if I miss her and feel sad, I can squeeze the fairy. Oh my word. The things that come out of this kid's mouth!

All week long, Alyssa continually expressed that she loved to be there the full day.

This morning I said, "So, before I make my final decision, I want to make sure you would prefer to be at school in the afternoon, instead of home with mommy." She said, "Yes, mommy."

I said, "OK. Give me a hug. I love you. Thank you for being honest and sharing your preference with me." We hugged for a minute, and when I let her go, I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I think she realized it was a big decision and that mommy would miss her.

So, I guess that's it. She's going full days. In some ways it feels like the end of something -- my official "stay-at-home mom" days. But, I know it is so much more than that. This is a beginning. For me. For Alyssa. For our whole family.

We have just moved across the country. The kids are adjusting BEAUTIFULLY to their new school -- so much so that Alyssa wants to be there all day. What more could I ask for? My children are thriving here! This was my biggest fear about moving -- "What about the kids?" I guess I have my answer! Thank you, God! xoxoxo

New School, New Adventures!

2010-08-30T16:45:00.000-04:00

It was such a joy watching Tyler and Alyssa adjust to their new school last week. It is awesome having them in the same school!

Tuesday was the funniest day of all. We laughed so hard as we listened to their stories about seeing each other and interacting (or not) during the day!

It all started when Alyssa couldn't find her snack in her backpack. Her teacher sent her down to Tyler's class to "borrow" a snack from him. She found some crackers and ate them all, except two. She put them back in Tyler's lunch box.

They told me about this when I picked Alyssa up from school at 11:00, but what they didn't tell me was that Tyler was not in the classroom when that happened. So, imagine Tyler's surprise when he opened up his lunch box to find a snack-size Ziplock with only two crackers in it! LOL!

Then, at one point, Alyssa snubbed Tyler in the hallway -- he said hello, and she ignored him! Later when we were having the conversation about it, he said, "By the way, what were you doing in the hallway alone anyway?" Apparently she was walking a friend to the office for an ice pack.

The reason Tyler saw them in the hallway was because he was going to get a new pair of shorts -- apparently he slid down the slide right into a puddle of water. The office staff got him a "new" used pair to borrow. The funny part about that story is that I didn't know about it. So, when I went into the school later in the day to purchase an additional pair of shorts for Tyler, just because we needed them, they said, "Oh, he already got a new pair today!" Imagine my surprise! Too funny!

It was a nutty, funny, crazy, joyful week! Hopefully this week will be just as fun!

Remembering Grandma D

2010-08-26T21:22:00.006-04:00

This is Grandma & Grandpa DeBruyne
last summer at my brother Dan's wedding.

Grandma DeBruyne passed away overnight. She was technically my step-grandmother, although, in our family we didn't use that "step" title. Everyone was just family. The only reason I mention it now is to share the story of her love for me and my brother and sister, who were brought into her family when we were young.

I was about 10 when I met Grandma DeBruyne; my brother Erik was 6; and my sister Kara was 2. Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne accepted us into their family like we were their own. Like we were always there. If an outsider attended a family event, they would never have known we weren't always there or meant to be there...because we were. We never, ever felt like "step" grandchildren.

How lucky were we? To be accepted into a family like that? Things could have been much more difficult for us if they weren't so loving. By the way, that family was huge! Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne had 8 children. At the time there were 18 grandchildren!

We spent time with them on every holiday and many other family celebrations in between. Most of these celebrations were held at their welcoming home. Christmas was always one of our favorite times -- as much of the family gathered as could, and the gifts were many. I swear they took up a quarter of the living room!

Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne always gave flashlights on Christmas. All kinds -- big and small and unique styles, too! They were different every year. We grandkids always looked forward to them. Grandma and Grandpa were very practical like that.

When I got married Grandma and Grandpa gifted me with the flowers for the wedding -- she owned and operated a flower shop. The flowers were absolutely beautiful -- any bride's dream! She pulled out all the stops! I was so lucky.

I'm so grateful for the time Grandma D was in my life. She was a very special person. So, it is with a heavy heart that I say, "Goodbye Grandma, and thank you so much for your love."

--Written with love and admiration and gratitude for Betty DeBruyne

His and Hers top 10 Lists of Why to Buy 11471 Persimmon Court

2010-08-26T13:52:00.000-04:00

Paul and I have a beautiful home for sale in Fort Myers that is in need of a loving family!

We are so fortunate to have lived in this house and raised our children there for the first several years of their lives. It is a fantastic family home! If it were not for Paul's exciting new job, we most certainly would not be leaving the house at this point in our lives.

We know that men and women look at different characteristics when they go to buy a house, so we each made our own top 10 list of our favorite things about the house! Check it out and share this with anyone you know who might be searching for a home in Fort Myers.

The Husband’s Top 10 List of Reasons to Buy 11471 Persimmon Court

1. Brand New Multi-Color Tiled Roof 2010!

2. Lightweight Corrugated Hurricane Panels (Google storm stoppers)

3. Cable wired in all rooms

4. Wood-burning Fireplace

5. LifeShield wireless home security ready

6. Red Sox Stadium Coming Soon!

7. Heat Exchange Unit (air conditioning heats hot water)

8. Heat Pump Pool Heater

9. Newly Resurfaced Pool

10. Newly Rescreened Lanai

The Wife’s Top 10 List of Reasons to Buy 11471 Persimmon Court

1. Beautifully Landscaped Pie-shaped Yard

2. Split Floor Plan

3. Large Kitchen opens up into Family Room

4. Vaulted Ceilings create Openness

5. Nicely Painted and Clean

6. Lots of Sliding Glass Doors for light

7. Fully Re-modeled Master Bath

8. Heated Pool

9. Fenced, Private Backyard (one of largest in Gateway)

10. On a Cul-De-Sac with fantastic neighbors

For more information, click here.

The Window

2010-08-17T20:36:00.004-04:00

Today the UPS driver came to the door to deliver a book from Amazon. No biggie. They usually drop and run, right?

Not today. After ringing the doorbell, the man stood there. I'm guessing he's around 40 based on our conversation.

I greeted him with a smile and walked out the door to accept the package. He handed the package in my direction, but he did not actually give it to me. I looked around wondering if he wanted me to sign something, but, there was no sign of anything to sign. He just stood there holding the book.

I looked up at him, and he looked at me. He very politely and carefully said, "Do you happen to know Irene?"

"Ohhh." I said, finally understanding what was going on. "I'm her granddaughter. She's living in Wyoming with my Aunt right now. She has Alzheimer's Disease, but she's doing well." I felt my face smile a big, huge smile, knowing he would feel better about her whereabouts.

With a very relieved look on his face he said, "Oh. Oh. That's great. I'm glad she's OK." He went on. "I've been delivering packages here for about 20 years. I got to know Ralph pretty well, and through Ralph, I got to know Irene. Ralph was a really good guy."

Everybody we meet around here says that about my grandfather -- and they don't just say it normally. They say it with reflection and emotion and admiration. It's unreal.

But, the UPS driver? Really?! First, it's amazing that someone would have the same job for 20 years ... but it's also amazing that my grandfather had such an impact on him. My Aunt told me he cried when they told him about my grandfather's passing. Wow.

It just makes me think of what a gift it is to be living here in my Grandparent's house. To meet all of these people who were impacted by them. It's like a window into their life. Every time something like this happens -- and it happens quite often -- I feel so warm, like one of them is hugging me. I feel so lucky. So lucky to be living here right now. What a gift!

Written with unconditional love for Grandma and Papa ... all my love ... Kristina

Treasured Friends

2010-08-16T21:35:00.002-04:00

I wanted to write about a recent visit we shared with some great friends -- the Norman family.

We were friends with the Normans for about 13 years while living in Florida. We knew each other for quite a while before we had children.

When we started having children, we happened to have them right around the same time, so we shared tons of fun on the kid front -- birthday parties, baptisms, play dates and more!

Eventually, we started a poker group and played together once a month with 2-3 other couples. We were all good friends and spent all kinds of time together.

About two years ago, the Normans left Florida for D.C. Keith took advantage of a fantastic job opportunity. Logically, I knew I would be OK, but when they left, a part of me felt my life would never be the same without them. We shared some of life's most precious moments together. I considered them family.

Of course, we've kept in touch across the miles and got to see them last year when they came back to SWFL for a visit!

Little did I know back when they moved, that our family would be moving out of the state, as well. As luck would have it -- if you believe in that kind of thing -- Liz just happens to be from Peoria and visits Illinois often!

They came to visit us last week as part of their summer vacation! How sweet is that?! What a GIFT! Here we are ... two families from SWFL meeting up in the Windy City!

It felt so wonderful to be able to share our new surroundings and my old stomping grounds with them. My heart felt huge and satisfied and fulfilled with them here. I felt hope for the future and validation that good friends can always be good friends if they try.

The Normans are very special to us. The kind of friends who have always been there ... and always will be. We are so grateful for them!

Written with love and gratitude for all of our friends ... We love and miss you all! Please come visit!!!

5 Steps to Peace After Anger Strikes

2010-08-15T09:46:00.001-04:00

What do you do when someone makes you angry? Whether it's your spouse, friend or co-worker. Sometimes we lose our cool, blow our tops and say or do something to retaliate. Or maybe we do the opposite -- we just hold it in and don't deal with it. Either way, you are left feeling badly...and those bad feelings don't just evaporate. They must be dealt with.
Here are 5 simple steps to take the next time someone makes you angry. Try it and see if it works for you!

1. Immediately after the event, get pen and paper and write down exactly how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Get all of the negative feelings out. For example, "I am so frustrated." "I am so pissed off." "I can't believe she said that to me." "I can't believe he did that." "What a jerk!" Just get it all out! Write until you can write no more about it.

2. Now write down your intention for how you desire your relationship with that person to be. For example, "I intend to have a peaceful, loving and honest relationship with my spouse." or "I intend to have a positive, professional relationship with my coworker."

3. Next, write down everything you are grateful for when it comes to this person and this experience that has caused you grief. This can be tough, but it's important for you to soften your heart and realize there are gifts that come out of every negative situation. For example, "I am grateful I have a husband." "I am grateful he loves me." "I am grateful he helps around the house." Write down everything you can think of that relates to this relationship and the situation at hand. Once you have done this, you will be able to take the fourth step...

4. Write down what action steps you can take to own your part of the negative experience and move forward. You can't control the other person, but you can control yourself. What can you do? A big action step is to apologize. Maybe you could have done a better job communicating. Maybe you forgot to do something you said you would do. Or maybe you shouldn't have lost your cool. There is always something we could have done better.

5. Take Action. Now is time for the hard part. The apology. Yep, even though that person made you angry first. You are going to apologize first. And, when you do apologize, don't try to defend yourself by explaining why you did what you did -- especially if it puts blame on the other person -- that won't help. Just sincerely apologize. Tell that person you love them and that you will try to do better next time. Then, listen to what they have to say. Acknowledge your error. Tell them again that you love them and you will try to do better next time. Repeat this as many times as needed.

Some situations certainly will be more complex than a simple apology. Let me know if you need further guidance.

Written in honor of my family and friends -- the people I intend to experience loving, peaceful, honest and fun relationships with....

You Get What You Give

2010-08-09T10:17:00.000-04:00

I've been trying to decide what to write about for days now. I haven't had any hugely interesting storeis to tell...but one concept keeps coming to the forefront of my mind, and that is "you get what you give." Basically, treat others the way you want to be treated.

This is such a basic concept, but one we don't always remember. Many of us talk about how we wish people would treat us. What we don't realize is that we have the power to influence this. When we catch ourselves wishing someone would treat us differently, we should stop and ask ourselves, "Am I treating him or her the way I want to be treated?"

Happy, silly parents = happy, silly kids!

Let's think about this in terms of our children. What happens when we lose our cool and snap at them? Do they smile and tell us they love us? No. They snap right back, don't they? So, imagine what would happen if we took a deep breath and thought about our words and tone before we snapped.

I have been teaching this concept to my children. Here's an example. Alyssa is working on the computer, and in a whiny, yucky voice she says, "Aaaarrrrrrgh...this computer keeps doing this wrong." Then she looks at me as if she is waiting for me to jump out of my seat and run over to help her.

Only, at this point, I won't help her because she didn't speak nicely or use the word "please" or even directly address me. She simply complained. She made my skin crawl. I am now feeling totally frustrated and annoyed because she came at me with negativity. As a result, my response is equally rude. I say something like, "Alyssa, mommy is trying to do her work, and you are making me crazy with this computer stuff."

Imagine how this situation could have gone better if Alyssa would have said, "Mom, can you please help me? I'm having computer problems." I would not have felt that negative energy coming from her, and I most likely would have been much happier about helping her out.

Now, I can't expect a 4-year-old to know this already -- I'm in my 30's and just learning it. So, I look at it as an opportunity to teach Alyssa that she gets what she gives. If she wants mommy to respond with love, then she should ask with love!

It seems like every day is a new opportunity to be a better parent! Thankfully, our kids give us plenty of opportunities to try again!

Written with love and adoration for Tyler and Alyssa ... mommy's most influential teachers!

Never a Dull Moment!

2010-08-03T10:02:00.011-04:00

There's never a dull moment! Last Friday was our big tree planting party, as you know. My first order of business was to pick up my 13-year-old niece, Katlin. She lives about 45 minutes away. My plan was to stop half-way there at Costco to pick up a nice ham dinner for her family since they just had a baby.

When the kids and I came out of Costco, the car wouldn't start. It was the battery. Why does that always happen as such a surprise!? You never know when those darn things are going to quit!

My first thoughts were panic -- "OMG! I'm only half-way to Katlin's. I've got to get her and get back to Arlington Heights to buy all of the food for the party tonight! I've got two kids in this stranded car. It's getting hot in here. I have cold food I just bought -- I don't want it to go bad. OMG! I'm hosting a party tonight! I have no time to be stuck here at Costco!"

I called Paul, who was downtown Chicago at work, and we talked about the options. As we were talking, we remembered Costco sells batteries. So, all I had to do was go into Costco, get a battery and find someone to install it for me.

I called my mom, who just happens to live in the town we were stuck in, and she said her significant other just happened to be working in town that day and might be able to swing by and put the new battery in for me!

Gee! Turns out I got stuck in a great place! Within one hour I had a new battery and was back on my way! We ran an hour behind our "schedule" for the day, but that experience gave us many gifts! Here are a few of them:

The opportunity to keep a positive attitude and realize this was not the end of the world.
The opportunity to keep my cool and show the kids calmness in what some would perceive as a crisis.
The opportunity to teach the kids that sometimes life does not go as planned, but it will still work out anyway.
The opportunity for my mom's significant other to help his daughter-in-law and grandchildren -- he was happy to do so ... and how funny for this to happen just after I moved back to Illinois near my family -- it helped me realize they really are here for me!
The simple amazement of how life works -- that truly was a great place for my battery to die that day!

In the end, the party went off without a hitch, and we all had a great time!

I share this story because I believe we all have the ability to make life what we want it to be. We have a choice for how we look at our experiences -- big and small. Are they the worst thing that could have happened, or are they a gift in some way?

As promised ... here are the tree speeches!

2010-07-31T09:47:00.001-04:00

Tyler, Katlin and I wrote speeches for the tree planting ceremony. I was completely amazed at the depth of what Katlin and Tyler had to say. Check it out!

Tree Speech

By: Katlin Verley

Just a few years ago we had a tree with a memory in every root cut down here. The tree was here for longer than some of us have been alive, Every Sunday during Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall most of us remember coming and visiting Papa and Grandma's house and of course the tree was always there .

But it was necessary to cut down the tree for the house's sake and the rotting inside. Having such an empty yard feels a bit unsettling, for as far as I know most of us had some sort of connection to that tree.

Today were celebrating the planting of a new tree. This tree that we're planting symbolizes our family. The roots that grow in the soil will represent the strong Verley family. The trunk represents Papa and Grandma. The branches that grow off the trunk symbolize the different directions our lives go. And the leaves are our past and new family. And when the leaves blow off the tree, they get raked back up into a pile -- leaving us back together again.

We dedicate this tree to Raef, Grandma and Papa Verley.

Starting now I proudly present the planting of our new family tree. Thank you Papa Verley, Grandma Verley and Raef for leaving such a large impression in our lives. We plant this tree here for you for an everlasting memory of the people who were most important to us and for starting our family and for coming to us a healer for our family means so much, because the past stay past and the present stays present we love you with all our hearts and cherish the moments we had together.

Now for Tyler's speech ...

Since this post is getting long, click here to view my speech, if you'd like.

It's the Big Day

2010-07-30T09:37:00.003-04:00

Ty and Lyss had fun helping transport the tree home!

The big day is here! The day of the tree planting party!

Today we are planting a Red Sunset Maple tree in honor of my grandparents and in memory of my nephew, Raef.

This is such a special party. For many reasons. First, that it was my 13-year-old niece's brainchild. Katlin took our idea of simply planting a tree to honor our grandparents ... to dedicating it to Raef ... to making it a family affair. She made all of the plans for the party. I've been honored to serve as her humble assistant!

She even made the call to my sister Kara to ask if it would be OK for us to dedicate the tree to Raef. She also worked with Kara to find the best date to have the party -- keeping in mind when the most family members would be around.

Turns out, the best day was today. Today just happens to be Kara's birthday. Hmmmmm....let me see here. So, we are planting a tree in memory of Raef on his mother's birthday. I love it! What a gift! It makes the day even more special!

Katlin also went as far as to write a speech talking about honoring our grandparents and Raef. It will bring tears to your eyes. Tyler jumped on the bandwagon and wrote one, too. I will share their speeches with you after the party. They are so beautifully written -- straight from the hearts of two amazing children!

Ta-Ta for now! I'm off to pick up Katlin and get this party started!!!

Written in honor of my beautiful and talented sister, Kara. Happy Birthday, sister! I love you!

Life is Wacky

2010-07-27T23:51:00.004-04:00

I say that with the utmost amount of love...I say it to be silly...I say it as a creative way of expressing that life is so beautifully and amazingly interesting. You never know what is going to happen. And you should never say, "never." And you never know what you might love about what you said you'd never do!

Tyler playing my Grandma's piano.

First of all, there was a point where I said I would "probably never" move back to Illinois. Then, before we moved back to Illinois, I said I didn't want to live in my Grandmother's house for reasons I've already written about.

But, here I am...living in Illinois...in my Grandmother's house...and feeling very peaceful about it. We're settling in quite nicely.

At this point, I can't imagine making this move to Illinois without being here. I've come to realize that my heart feels really good in this house. It fills my soul to be here. It is a gift to be here. The memories that have flooded my mind over the past few weeks are incredible and comforting. It is a joy to share this house with my children and Paul.

Here's what my aunt (my Grandmother's daughter) had to say about us living here via email:

Grandma & Papa's house has always been the heart of our family. Where we could all go for fun times, to just sit and visit, for comfort, for a refuge...it was what they made with their love. They made a house their home. And they filled it with a loving family.

Grandma & Papa will forever be the circle that is around all of our families. They will forever be in that house -- Papa tinkering in the garage or sitting in his chair. Grandma taking care of him, or playing the piano, or both of them sitting at the kitchen table. Our memories of them are in their home, and now your family will make memories there. That is as it should be, it was meant to be this way, God is richly blessing you. You deserve so much, Kristina, you are such a special Grand-daughter.

As you can imagine, this had me in tears. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read about my grandparents ... and about our family.

Well, this Friday our entire family is gathering to plant a tree here in honor of my grandparents and in dedication to my nephew Raef, who is now watching us from above. May the memories and the love continue for generations to come...

Written in honor of Ralph and Irene Verley and in memory of Raef Garrett Young...all my love.

Reconnecting with ... The Godfather

2010-07-26T21:52:00.001-04:00

It is so fun to be back in Illinois experiencing some of my childhood favorites and seeing family again! I had the distinct pleasure of reconnecting with my Godfather, Mike, last week. It's been quite a few years since I've seen him.

The neat thing about my Godfather is that he has been friends with my Grandparents for more than 55 years. They became neighbors in Iron Mountain, MI when he was a kid.

As a young adult, he moved out of Iron Mountain, and, so did my Grandparents. -- eventually, they both ended up here in Northern Illinois, just minutes from each other. That was simply an amazing coincidence ... IF you believe in that type of thing!

It's fun to talk to him, because he has lots of stories about when my grandparents were younger.

One of the best parts of our visit last week was the list of restaurants he brought to share with me! I have to say, my favorite though, was him reminding me of my Grandmother's favorite bakery. She loves their chocolate cake donuts (which just happen to be my favorite). I made sure the kids and I stopped there the next day to take in a little more nostalgia! Yum!!!

This may not seem like a big thing, but as many of my readers probably know, I am all about the little things in life. What a gift it was to see my Godfather again, to hear some great stories about my grandparents, and then to share the memories with Tyler and Alyssa by taking them to the bakery! It just fills my heart ... and my tummy!

New Habits, New Fun

2010-07-16T08:53:00.000-04:00

I knew from before we moved in that things would be different for us while staying at my Grandma's. First, the house is smaller than ours...no biggie, though, it has 3 bedrooms, so everyone still gets their own room!

Plus, it has no dishwasher. Yep. No dishwasher. I was kind of dreading that, but, as it turns out, it's just fine. I really don't mind doing the dishes, and it brings back childhood memories of us all chipping in after family dinners to get them washed and dried and put away. Not only that, but I have found that Tyler and Alyssa LOVE washing dishes!

It's not something I let them do a lot at our Florida home -- mostly because the counters were taller and the sink was deeper, so it was more difficult for them to reach. Plus ... we had a dishwasher!!!

This activity has also led to them washing the dinner table and helping set it and clean up. They did a little bit of that at home, but they are really embracing it now! What fun!

The other neat thing I discovered is that Tyler loves to make ice! Yes, the refrigerator at my Grandma's is so old it does not have an ice maker. I thought that might be a bit of a chore, but as it turns out, it's a great chore for Tyler! Yippee!

We are enjoying so many interesting experiences as a result of living at my Grandmother's house. These are just a couple of the daily ones!

Happy Friday!

A bit of Nostalgia

2010-07-08T10:01:00.000-04:00

Well, we've made the "temporary" move to Illinois. It has been very interesting, going back to the place I grew up, now that I have children of my own. While we anxiously wait for our home in Florida to sell so we can buy a new home, we are staying at my Grandmother's house.

As luck would have it, she vacated her house just weeks before we needed a place to stay in the Chicago area. She is now living with my aunt in Wyoming.

I'm so grateful she is with my aunt and has care 24/7, and I know it is the best place for her to be right now, but on the other side of that thought is amazement at how life goes sometimes. I moved to Florida 15 years ago...never really thought I'd move back. But, here I come, moving back, and there she goes. On almost every phone conversation I've had with my grandmother over the years, she always said she wished we didn't have to live so far apart. I did too. I missed her a lot.

My grandmother has always been a very big part of my life. We spent almost every Sunday at her house growing up, and I would stay with her and my grandfather for a week or two during the summers. I have SO many memories at their house. Throughout my childhood, their house was a very comfortable place for me. How fitting is it that it is available to me now when I need it? It's really too much for words.

The experience has been surreal so far. All the memories in the house, the yard, the neighborhood. Driving down the street. I feel like I am moving in slow motion. I know part of that is because I just uprooted myself and my kids and moved across the country, but the emotions associated with staying here are impossible to ignore. I feel sad, because I miss my grandparents, but grateful that their home is available. I am also grateful, because it throws me smack in the middle of all these childhood memories that I can share with Tyler and Alyssa.

One of my most sentimental memories is of feeding the animals in my Grandma's driveway. She put bread out for the birds every day. We'd tear up the bread, then go inside to the window and watch them eat. Tyler and Alyssa LOVE this activity! I let them do the feeding, then we wait and watch! Birds, squirrels, bunnies and chipmunks all graze on the bread! What fun! It tickles my funny bone to watch Tyler and Alyssa enjoy this activity!

Written in honor of my Grandmother and in memory of my Papa. Thanks for the memories...

Memories from a little Wooden Chest

2010-06-29T19:01:00.000-04:00

I had an interesting experience with the kids this afternoon. They asked to look in my cedar chest, which is a cute, little wooden chest my dad made for me when I was little. I have a few keepsakes from my childhood in there, along with lots of cards I received growing up -- birthdays, Christmas, graduations and more.

We started reading some of the cards. Wow! What memories! There were cards from my parents, Grandparents, sisters, friends and more. Reading them made me feel so loved.

I explained that I kept the cards for memories so I could go back and look at them some day like we were doing at that moment. Then, I told them that I was keeping all of their cards, too. Alyssa was very excited to see her cards, so I pulled them down from the shelf in her closet. What a wonderful experience that was!

She loved going through them! Since she can't read yet, I told her what the cards said and who they were from. It was like Christmas! She was so tickled to hear who each card was from. Of course, many of them were from her grandparents, so at one point she said, "Wow, they must love me a lot."

Oh my goodness. That was one of those moments where time stands still for a second. I just looked at her, smiled and said, "Yes, they do."

Wow. The power of a card. How interesting that a 4-year-old gets the meaning of a card. And, to think, 20 or more years from now when she goes back to look at them, her heart will melt all over again. Amazing.

Written in honor of all of my friends and family who have shown me their love with a greeting card.

Learning from the Kiddos

2010-06-24T09:46:00.002-04:00

I thought I'd write a little about all of the goodbye's we are saying in preparation for our move. It's been an interesting experience.

Paul and I want to make sure Tyler and Alyssa have the opportunity to properly say goodbye to their friends, so we threw a going away party for them last weekend. Many of their friends came to celebrate and play. We kept the energy positive and fun.

We played music, the kids played on the playground, and our friends brought pictures to add to our SWFL memory books. We spent time talking and simply enjoying being together. It was wonderful. We were really grateful for everyone who could make it.

In addition, I've been setting up play dates for Tyler and Alyssa with some of their closest friends.

It is kind of strange setting up these "last" play dates. I'm trying not to look at them as "final." Because friends are always friends. Yes, things will be different when we move, but we will be back to visit. Plus, we can keep in touch with cell phones, email, text messages, snail mail, Skype and more.

I'm finding the play dates to be fun and normal. If you could see the kids at these play dates, you'd never know if they were feeling sad about moving. They're playing the same as they always do.

That reminded me that young children tend to live in the moment. They don't worry about the past or the future as much as adults. They are at a play date with their friends, so they will play and not worry about anything else. Isn't that a beautiful thing?!

I'm trying to keep that in mind as well. All we have is today. We do not have yesterday -- it is gone. We do not have tomorrow -- it isn't here yet. But, as for today, it is a beautiful day for making memories!

-- Written with love for all of our SWFL friends. xoxoxo

Engaging the Kids During Summer Vacation Brings Rewards for Mom

2010-06-21T20:33:00.002-04:00

I had the most precious time playing restaurant with the kids tonight. The game started after dinner with them telling me they wanted to open a restaurant. They went as far as to name their restaurant, so I suggested they draw the sign for the restaurant to show me what it would look like.

They did that, and then they drew their menus. I played right along and designed my own sign and menu.

After the signs and menus were designed, the kids took turns serving me at their restaurant. It was so cute to hear them say phrases you might hear a waiter or waitress say, such as, "Broccoli is the side that comes with that. Is that OK?" or "Do you need a few more minutes before you order?"

I learned in a literacy class last summer that this is a great way to expand children's learning opportunities. Instead of just letting them speak to me about what they wanted to do. I asked them to draw/write about it. Then we acted it out.

This is especially beneficial during summer vacation when they are not being stimulated at school. And, the best part was they didn't even realize I was stretching their learning. (Aren't I sneaky?) Plus, it gave us something constructive and fun to do after dinner.

This was definitely the highlight of my day with the kids. I love to see their imaginations at work. But it was even more than that for me -- it was also a time when I was living in the moment. I stopped cleaning up dinner before I was finished (whew...that took effort!) and gave them my full attention. But it was well worth it! Wonder what we'll pretend about tomorrow!

Jack Johnson and Curious George Inspire

2010-06-17T19:03:00.001-04:00

I know it's not a new song, but it's one that's really stuck in my head right now. Jack Johnson's Upside Down. It just feels so good to listen to. It's so positive and upbeat and full of hope. It makes me want to sing and dance.

It inspires me when he says "Who's to say ... What's impossible." ... Right? It's up to US to say what IS possible. Don't let people tell you that you can't do something. If you want to do it, go for it! Is it a dream of a trip you'd like to take? An advanced degree you'd like to earn? A career change? A place you'd like to live? Anything is possible ... it's up to you!

I also love how he says, "There's no stopping curiosity." I think some of us forget about curiosity as we get older. Kids have an amazing curiosity about them, they're into everything! But somehow as adults, we let that fade away as we get bogged down in our daily lives. We stop exploring. Let's get out there and try some things we've never done before!

How's this for inspiration, "I want to turn the whole thing upside down ... I'll find the things they say just can't be found." I love that! It's motivation! Well, it is for me anyway -- if someone tells me "it can't be done," that only pushes me harder to figure it out. And, trust me I do. Just ask any of my friends! :)

So, we've got all of this excitement and motivation, and then, the scary part comes -- what if we go after a goal and "fail" or try something new, like skiing, and fall? Have we really failed? Heck no! We tried! We LIVED! We experienced. Isn't that what we're here for? To love and live and have experiences?

And, as Jack says, "This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste." You don't have yesterday -- it's gone. You don't have tomorrow -- it's not here yet. You only have today. Right now! So, what is it you want to do? Learn a new skill or sport? Start your own business? Make new friends? Repair a broken relationship? Come on! Let's go turn this world upside down!

What Spiders Taught Me About My Life

2010-06-14T14:26:00.006-04:00

I had an experience yesterday, and I'd like to share in case it enlightens anyone else...here's what happened.

We are currently staying in my grandmother's old house while we wait to sell our Florida home. It is my dad's mother's house. Much needs to be done to this old house to make it habitable for our family. Over the weekend, Paul noticed some electrical issues and suggested we call Gary, my mom's significant other, to come over and look at it since he is a professional electrician.

"NO, you can't do that," I said to Paul, feeling very agitated. "That will never work. My dad will never be OK with that."

I felt so stressed about this, because Gary is who I would want to do the work if it were my home. But it's not my home. It's under the care and supervision of my dad.

Then, I realized how hurt my mother would feel if I didn't ask Gary to do the work.

NICE. Here I am at 36 years old. My parents have been divorced since I was 10. And I'm still getting all hyped up emotionally over anything that has to do with the two of them together. Whenever these types of situations arise, I feel like no matter what decision I make, I will hurt one of them. And, the last thing I want to do is hurt either of my parents.

I had a talk with a friend, who reminded me of the work that I have already been doing to handle these situations better. I remembered that I can't control my parents or their feelings. But I can control me, and by doing that I have the power to make these experiences more peaceful for everyone.

I think this is really coming to light now as I move back "home" near my family. I am really excited about it, but if I don't work on how I handle these situations, it will be a difficult move, instead of a joyful one.

I have the choice for how I want my relationships with my parents to be. Instead of letting my emotions run wild and feeling like I need to defend myself when I make decisions that might hurt one of them, I can use a tool from my life coaching toolbox. I can simply put myself in their shoes. Think about how they are feeling, and give them my love. Of course, I love both of my parents, and I do not want either of them to feel hurt by decisions I make.

Interestingly enough -- the day after this experience happened, I had a few run-ins with spiders -- in real life and in my dreams. I looked up their spiritual meaning, and, among other things, one website said that spiders are the teacher of balance between past and future. Wow. That made me immediately think about this experience with my parents, my past with my parents and my future with them -- especially now that I am moving back. It's up to me for how I want this to be. Peaceful or chaotic. I'm aiming for peace, and I know it is possible...one experience at a time!

Written with love and respect for all of my parents...please notice I did not share any of my parents actual feelings -- only my perceptions for how they would be. Also note that my parents were not really a part of this experience -- it was all in my head based on assumptions. :)

Great Gateway Home for Sale. Great Neighborhood. Great for Kids. Great Deal.

2010-05-26T16:26:00.000-04:00

I want to share an experience with you about the power of the Internet and email newsletters. Our neighborhood has an email newsletter started by one of the business people, Ed Ryan, who owns Fort Myers Fitness. It's called the Gateway Gazette.

This newsletter goes out at least once a week -- sometimes I swear it's daily -- to about 2,000 people who live and do business in and around Gateway. I work out at Fort Myers Fitness, so I asked Ed about placing an ad for my house in the Gazette. He included it in today's issue, and within 30 minutes or so, I had already received one call and one email about it! That's more activity than we've had in 3 weeks on the MLS!

One person I spoke with said they never would have known about the house if it were not for the Gazette! How cool!

Now, the Gazette is no ordinary newsletter. It's written by a very charismatic, opinionated (I mean that in the nicest way, Ed) person. People LOVE to see what he will say next! I think the Florida Weekly newspaper has given Ed an award for the Gazette two years in a row!

Now, if you want to find out more about this fantastic family home in a fantastic family neighborhood, check out this link! Please share it with anyone you know who might be looking for a home in the Fort Myers area! You never know who might like it!

Random Acts of Kindness

2010-05-23T19:07:00.006-04:00

I experienced an act of kindness last week that moved me to tears, and I have been excited to find time to share it with you.

Our family is without medical insurance for 2 weeks since Paul changed jobs. We realize that is a serious issue, and we discussed it. If something major came up, we would use COBRA, if something minor came up, we would self-pay.

As luck would have it, one of us came down with something that needed medical attention. You'd think it was one of the kids, but, no, it was me. I called the doctor's office and spoke to the nurse and tried to see if there was any way around coming in, but there was not. I knew they were right, so in I went, planning to self-pay. The office staff told me they would discount my price for the visit if I paid in full that day. I was fine with that, although stressed to have to spend that kind of money at all right now...and in disbelief that this would happen in the teeny, tiny 2-week window that I was without medical coverage.

My nurse told me I would have to see a different doctor -- one I had never seen before in all of my years at that practice. I was a bit nervous about it, but she assured me I would love him. She said he was sweet.

He was! I liked him right away. During my time with him, I explained the temporary lack of medical insurance and that I couldn't believe this would happen in this itsy, bitsy 2-week window, and, by the way, can we find a way to keep the prescription cost low? I was actually pretty stressed out about it, and I think the doctor sensed that.

My visit went well. The doctor was fantastic and assured me he would help out. That made me feel a little more relieved. Then he told me the prescription would probably only cost $10, or so. Sweet!

After the visit, I went to the check-out counter to pay, and the clerk said, "Oh, there's no charge today." "Huh?" I said. Then, she said, "Look, he circled 'no charge;' you're all set."

That's when the tears came. I was shocked. I didn't expect that at all. I didn't know what to say or do at that moment. I wanted to go back and say "thank-you," but I figured he was already in with another patient, and the tears might cause a scene. So I walked out to my car bawling and decided I would send a heart-felt thank you note, instead.

Why was I so moved by this? What that doctor did was about more than money. It was about taking care of patients – the whole patient, not just the symptoms. He took one component of my stress right out of the picture. He made it disappear. And by doing that, he helped my outlook on the other stressful parts of my life.

That experience has left a very big impression on me. It filled my heart with joy, hope, gratitude and motivation to pay it forward. Amazing.

Michael Buble Has it Right

2010-05-16T21:21:00.000-04:00

I love Michael Buble's song, "Haven't Met You Yet." But every time I hear it, I am drawn to the part where he says, "I give so much more than I get." What an awesome philosophy for relationships! It's how it should be. Ideally, we should be freely giving our love to our loved ones without expecting anything in return.

In relationships, I think we naturally tend to be selfish and constantly wonder, "What's in it for me? If I do this for you, what will you do for me?" It's nobody's fault. It's the way we were raised. That's how life starts as a kid. But now that we're adults, it's time to change that type of thinking -- especially when it comes to the relationship with our significant other -- the most important relationship of all.

If we focus on what we are doing for our significant other, instead of what they are not doing for us, we will feel so much happier.

Instead of thinking things like, "if only he would send me flowers," or "if only he would offer to help me clean the kitchen," shift your focus to thinking about what you can do for your spouse. What would help him or her out today? Could you make a call for him or run an errand for her? Maybe it's something as simple as telling them how great they look that day. If you take the time to try this tactic, I think you'll see it works really well!

I'm not saying you should never sit your partner down and talk to them about things you would like them to do for you, you should still do that. I'm just proposing that we should not to get so caught up in the negative thoughts about what they are not doing. Next time you catch yourself with a thought like that, replace it with something that you will do for your partner that day. A specific action like the examples I mentioned above.

Check out this story I found online:

A woman wanted to divorce her husband and make him really suffer. So she went to a lawyer and told him, “I want to divorce my husband. I know that I am going to get control of most of his assets, but I want to make his life miserable. What could I do?”

“Have you told him yet?” the attorney asked. She hadn’t.

“OK,” he continued. “Here’s the plan. For three months, don’t criticize him. Speak only well of him and build him up. Every time he does something right, commend him for it and tell him what a great guy he is. Do that for 12 weeks. When he thinks he has your full confidence and love – nail him! Tell him you’re filing for divorce. It will come as a complete shock!”

The woman loved the plan and was confident her husband would fall for it. For three months she complimented him, built him up, and said wonderful things to him.

One day the lawyer called her back. “Are you ready to file?” he asked. “Oh, no,” the woman said. “We won’t be needing your services. In fact, we’re having a second honeymoon!”

By taking a more positive tack and building up her husband, she actually helped to turn her marriage around and make it better than ever.

Food for thought!

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

2010-05-13T11:47:00.000-04:00

Because I think it could improve the lives of everyone on this planet, I've been moved to share something I've learned through my work with my life coach. That something is the concept of putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

When you are having a disagreement or an argument with your spouse or a friend or your mother and you are having trouble seeing eye-to-eye on the matter, STOP. Stop the conversation. Stop thinking about the issue from only your perspective. Ask yourself, "How does he or she feel?" It will work like magic! You will suddenly know what you need to do! It's amazing.

I'll put myself (and Paul and Tyler) out there and share a story with you. One afternoon, Paul, Tyler and I were walking outside in the grass. Paul and Tyler started roughing around, pushing each other. Eventually, one of Paul's pushes was too much for Tyler and he hit the ground. I gasped at the sound his body made when it hit the ground. It was a loud thump. Tyler started crying. Then, Paul accused me of making Tyler cry by gasping.

That thought was crazy to me. He wasn't crying because I gasped, he was crying because he hit the ground. I thought I was being somewhat rational and told Paul not to tell me how to react when my son hits the ground, and I wouldn't tell him not to push my son to the ground. We were at an impasse. Paul was convinced I made Tyler cry, and I was convinced I did nothing wrong by gasping -- what mother doesn't gasp when her kids fall?

At that point, we dropped the issue, but it was still bothering me. Here's where the magic comes in. I brought the issue up with my life coach, Lynne. The first thing she asked was, "How do you think Paul felt when his push caused Tyler to fall to the ground?"

I said, "Oh. I never thought about how he felt. I guess he felt bad. They were just having fun. He didn't mean for Tyler to get hurt." I continued with a little epiphany, "Then, when I gasped, he probably thought it was in disapproval for pushing Tyler, but it wasn't ... I knew they were goofing around. I gasped at the sound of Tyler hitting the ground."

So Lynne said, "Then, what could you have said to Paul after Tyler fell instead of defending yourself for gasping?" Honestly, I struggled with this -- I was still thinking about defending myself. I needed some coaxing from Lynne. She suggested I could have said something to address Paul's feelings like, "Oh, don't worry, he's fine. You didn't mean to hurt him. This was just an accident." That would have let him know I didn't blame him, which I didn't.

It wasn't until Lynne got me out of my own head and into Paul's that I could handle this situation. Thinking about what Paul was thinking and feeling diffused my own defensiveness and created a channel of understanding and communication.

After my conversation with Lynne, I shared what I learned with Paul and we both apologized for our part. It was a great learning lesson. And that's just a minor little thing. Imagine if you could use this technique on much bigger, emotional issues!! Give it a try! I assure you, it will make a difference in your life!

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly

2010-05-11T16:20:00.006-04:00

Have you ever seen the Diving Bell and The Butterfly? It's a movie that was released in 2008.

Here's a quick overview: On December 8 1995 at 43, Jean-Dominique Bauby, inventive and charismatic editor in chief of the French magazine Elle suffered a massive stroke and his brain stem was rendered inactive. After lapsing into a coma, he awoke 20 days later to find himself the victim of locked-in syndrome - mentally alert but a prisoner inside his own body, his only means of communicating with the outside world the blinking of his left eye.

Forced to adjust to this unique perspective, Bauby created a new world for looking into himself to find the only two things that weren't paralyzed, his imagination and his memory. At The Maritime Hospital in France he was taught an alphabet, a code in the order of the most frequently used letters in the French alphabet. Letter by letter, painstakingly words, sentences and paragraphs tell the story of a profound adventure into the human psyche and into the battle between life and death. This alphabet unlocked the prison of Jean-Dominique's body which he called his Diving Bell and travelled the border-less regions of freedom that he called The Butterfly.

Watching this movie was an assignment for my life coaching class. Why, you ask, would a movie like this be a class assignment? Because it's so inspiring. It shows that anything in life is possible. It's up to us – we have a choice in life to suffer or to soar.

Jean-Dominique at first wanted to die after waking up from his coma and realizing he was “locked in” – who could blame him – but when he realizes he still has his imagination and his memories, he uses them to write a book. Yes, this man wrote an entire book by blinking his one working eye.

This tells me that any excuse I have for not going after my dreams in life are lame. If a man who is paralyzed from head-to-toe and is unable to speak can write a book by blinking one eye, I can surely accomplish anything I set my mind to!

This movie shows us that there is no obstacle too great. When the going gets tough, get creative, like Jean-Dominique's therapist did by devising the system for him to communicate.

Although the prognosis was grim, Jean-Dominique's therapists did not give up on him. They never stopped trying to improve his quality of life, and he achieved one of his life goals of writing a book. He still lived his life to the best of his ability. Amazing. Moving. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

How our Realtor got the kids involved in the sale of our home

2010-05-03T16:14:00.000-04:00

When we hired Sandee Bozzuto to sell our home, we were looking for qualities like her knowledge of real estate, the current market and our community, but what we were not expecting was the way she involved our children in this life-changing event.

To start, I must say the kids took an immediate liking to her and made her little gifts the first time she came over. It was so sweet!

The next day, when she brought Paul and I our contract to sign with her, she also brought Tyler and Alyssa their own Coldwell Banker folder with a coloring sheet and a Kids Contract.

She spent time with each of them individually going over their contract. It was kid-friendly and printed in full-color -- really cute! The Kids Contract is the official agreement between Sandee and the kids that they will keep their room clean every day, pick up their clothes, put away their clothes and make their bed. She told the kids that their efforts will help her show the house and sell it.

They ate it up! I think she could have gotten away with that, because they liked her so much, but she promised to give them each a $25 gift card for keeping their end of the contract. Wow!

It was such a fun experience for all of us. I really appreciated that this seemingly minor effort for Sandee was doing something so significant for our children. As we all know, moving to another state is a very big deal, and part of helping children cope with it is to make the experience an adventure. This experience with Sandee certainly qualifies as that.

Not to mention the fact that Tyler made his bed today for the first time ever!!!!! How cool is that! Thank you, Sandee!

Hold onto Your Hats! Windy City, Here We Come

2010-04-29T13:12:00.002-04:00

It's been a very exciting time in the Haisman household -- we're M.O.V.I.N.G. -- to Chicago! Yikes!

Yes, I know it's cold there! That's the furthest thing from my worries at this point. It's the distance from my wonderful family and friends here in Fort Myers that has me most teary-eyed. Paul and I have been here almost 15 years.

The reason we are leaving is that Paul found a FANTASTIC job opportunity. He will be the top IT professional for the YMCA of the USA! Neither of us could be any more excited about this opportunity. It is amazing, and we are feeling very blessed. The opportunity is not just for Paul though, it is for the whole family -- because my family lives in the Chicago area -- what a gift! The thought of living near my family has me very excited.

Although Tyler and Alyssa are leaving Paul's parents, they will be closer to my parents, my brothers and their wives, my sister and her husband, their cousin, Katlin, and their two new cousins who will be born in July! Not to mention tons of extended family.

All four of us are excited for a change ... for a new adventure. And this is the attitude we will take with us and teach to the children. This entire experience is a teaching experience for them -- about the logistics of moving and the emotions that go with it. It seems unusual to be feeling happy, excited, sad and scared all at the same time.

We're working with Tyler and Alyssa to sort through the emotions and be present as the friends and family we are leaving behind express their emotions, as well. It's difficult to know a decision you are making is hurting other people. It makes the whole experience feel bittersweet.

We know how it feels to be on the other end of good friends moving, as we've had two families move away from us recently. It is heartbreaking, but life does go on. Thank goodness for cell phones and the Internet! It's not the same, but it'll have to do for now.

Although everything for us is changing all at once, one thing is for sure -- we love, love, love our SWFL family and friends no matter where we live!

My Media Free Week

2010-04-26T19:14:00.000-04:00

As an assignment for my life coaching class, I was instructed to practice being quiet. For seven consecutive days I was to watch NO television, listen to NO radio, watch NO movies and read NO newspapers.

Sound scary? It wasn't, but it was more difficult than I thought. I’ve already paired down my media consumption quite a bit, so I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but my media habits are more ingrained than I thought.

Overall, I would say the experience has been very peaceful and calming. I think all the background noise and negative news creates more stress than I realized. It was also a bonding experience for me -- with both Paul and the kids.

It was bonding with Paul because he participated with me -- what a guy! Seriously! That meant a lot to me. It was bonding with the kids, because we were music free in the car and really enjoyed our conversations!

During this time, I’ve noticed there is music playing in virtually every public place in this town. I was at the Bell Tower coffee shop trying to work one day, but the music was so LOUD, I had to leave early – before getting all of my work done. I just couldn’t take the noise anymore. I have to say, though, that leaving early ended up being a gift, because I got some shopping done for our upcoming family photos. I was really excited about that, because it saved me time and stress later in the week!

Also during the week, I noticed how habitual we are about our TV, music and newspaper reading. On the first day, I reached for the radio right after dropping Alyssa off for school – forgetting for a moment about the no media week.

There was also one day when I went out to pick up the paper in the driveway and started reading one of the stories on my way into the house – Paul promptly reminded me about the no media week! Then, one afternoon, I glanced at the one of the TVs at the gym and watched an entire story before I remembered the no media week! Another awkward time was going to bed at night – Paul and I usually fall asleep to the TV. We also turn the news on first thing in the morning to catch up on the world’s happenings.

Before having children, I almost always had the TV on at home – I couldn't bear the silence – but I stopped that habit after having children. This no media week took that to a new level for me. I realized I use some of the time listening to the news and radio to drown out my thoughts. To shut my brain off. To go on auto pilot. By going no media this week, I realized that I will be OK if I let myself think, if I sit in silence. I realized that it's actually more relaxing to leave it off. And, for sure, I was more productive!

I am excited to report that Paul read a book during this time!!! Yippee! It’s been sitting on his dresser forever! The book was about leadership and was great for where he is in his career right now. Overall, Paul says he has enjoyed the silence. How cool!

So, I think I will continue to keep media to a minimum in my life for now. Not totally eliminated, but less -- especially in the car with the kids. We do a lot of driving to and from school, and that is valuable time where we can share about our days!

A Time to Plan

2010-04-23T13:16:00.002-04:00

I recently learned a statistic that says 80 percent of success in life comes from taking action, and only 20 percent comes from planning. I'm not sure where the statistic originated, but I heard it from Master Life Coach David Essel.

What that tells me is that many of us spend way too much time planning our lives -- personal and professional. David says we "overplan" to avoid doing the things we don't want to do, and that too much planning and not enough action keeps us from being successful and getting what we want out of life.

He also said there is a best time of the day to do our planning. Did you know that? I didn't. Surprisingly, it's at the end of the day -- not the beginning of the day.

"If we walk into the office in the morning and we don’t have a plan yet, we are sunk," David says. "Our planning should never be done in the morning. Ever."

Why? Because most people feel the most energetic in the morning, and the least in the late afternoon. David says we should not waste our morning energy on planning. "You’re spinning your wheels ... you’ve got to do the action first."

That makes sense to me. Since I am at my best in the morning, I shouldn't waste that energy on planning. Instead, I should be working on more creative tasks and taking action on my "to-do" list. Then, if I sit down to plan at the end of the day, I'll be ready to hit the ground running when I get up the next day!

David says the difference between people who are incredibly successful and those who are not, is that those who are successful understand the principle of 80 percent action, 20 percent planning. Action in the morning. Planning at night.

I've been trying this new philosophy over the past week, and it's worked out great! I am finishing up projects left and right and simply enjoying knowing I am using my bubbly morning energy to be productive!

I also started two new productivity techniques this week. I started putting a time guesstimate next to each project to help give me an idea of how long it will take. Then, I decide which of the 15 items on my "to-do" list I can actually accomplish that day. I don't choose them all -- only a few. This way, I feel good at the end of the day, instead of behind.

Happy Friday!